A week after Nana and Pop Pop left, we found ourselves getting very busy! Aleeya was super excited to be going to Science Camp for a week, and Scott and I were headed to a staff retreat at Hume Lake for three days, while getting the other three kids to friends' homes while we were away. All of a sudden, everything seemed to be happening very quickly and finalization was only a week and a half away!
Scott had originally planned to go with Aleeya to Science camp, as he had gone with both boys when they were in sixth grade. While he would not go as her counselor, he would go to help out and just be there for her! But, when we learned that our church staff would be headed to a staff retreat that same week, we knew we needed to be there instead. These staff retreats are very special and truly nourish our souls, and we were so looking forward to the time away with the others that we serve with at our church. Aleeya was sad to learn that he wouldn't be coming, but still very excited to go!
We had a few ups and downs getting things together and making sure it would all work out, and then it happened! Early Monday morning, I took her to school to board a bus and be gone for a whole week. I hadn't really realized that this was our first time really being away from her, and while I knew she'd have a blast, it felt strange to have her away from us. Often, I have talked about this experience like it is giving birth, and there are times when I feel like she is my newborn. And leaving a newborn, or a year old baby for a week is not an easy thing for me. I knew she was in God's hands and prayed for her so often throughout the week. I prayed for her protection, for her to have fun, and for her to make good choices during her time there.
Scott and I left a couple of hours later to head up to our staff retreat at a truly beautiful place called Hume Lake. We had only visited there once previously for a day, and knew this would be a wonderful, relaxing place. While there, our speaker gave us time to "be alone" with God - to have no agenda, no special reading plan, just to be alone with God and listen. This was similar to the day we had at a retreat prior to making our decision to meet Aleeya, and I was so in need of it again. The year had been so full, and my heart so joyous at times and so heavy at other times, and I needed some time with my Father. Right before we were given this time to go be alone with Jesus, the speaker's wife shared about visiting a vineyard and how they were able to learn what was done to the grapes as they were growing on the vine. She talked about how they would prune away grapes, and that these grapes weren't even bad grapes - they were good! She wondered why, and they explained that it made the grapes that remained so much better when they did this! She asked us, "What is God asking you to let go of?" She encouraged us to open our hands wide and let Him have it. When she said this, God spoke so clearly to me of what those things were, and I was so glad to let them go! It was very freeing, and I was so thankful for the encouragement and reminder!
Now, I have to tell you how wonderful my God is, because in the month prior, God had really spoken clearly to me during a worship service we had called our 5:19 Gathering (based on Ephesians 5:19). One of our pastors had shared some Scripture and then just let things be very quiet for a few minutes for us to hear from God. And God spoke. He told me, in a really wonderful personal way, "I love you" (and while I know He loves the world, He said He loved me)! He also told me "He would give me rest." Rest sounded so good - rest for my soul, rest for my body. Oh, the depth of His love for me! I knew it was my loving Lord speaking to me . . it was so clear . . so perfect . . so like Him! I felt blessed beyond words!
So, I was really longing for this quiet time with Him on this particular day. I was in a beautiful setting, in the woods near a lake with the backdrop of mountains and tall redwood trees all around me. As I began to follow the trail, there were a couple of benches. I felt so tired, so I sat down and just watched nature happening around me. The blue birds were happy to keep me company, and then I just felt this huge urge to lie down on the bench. As I did, it felt strange, but then He just kinda reminded me - "you are so tired!" My body, soul, and spirit - they were tired. The ups and downs of life, of adoption, or waiting had taken a tole and I needed rest, His perfect sweet rest.
After a little while, I sat back up and just looked around. Things were beautiful, but He didn't seem to be speaking right then. So, I decided to walk further and find another spot. I eventually came to a place closer to the water's edge. I love the water. There was a huge tree that had fallen there, and I was thankful to have the log as a place to sit. I realized as I was resting there, that this was once a huge beautiful tree, standing so tall and so fulfilling its purpose, but now it had a new purpose. God had allowed it to fall at just this spot for a reason, and I was enjoying it. I wondered if that's what He had been doing in my life. I had felt so strong and useful most of my life, but this last while, He seemed to be re-making my life, using it for other purposes. I wondered if the tree was happy to have its new purpose, and wondered if I too could enjoy what God was doing in my life. As well, I began to watch the water rhythmically coming onto the shore. It was so perfect and so steady. God spoke just one word, but said it so clearly . . "Steadfast." I knew once again that it was His voice, but really wasn't sure what it meant. I took a stick and wrote it in the wet sand, wondering if I had even spelled it correctly. I tried to think about the meaning, and guessed it meant something about His faithfulness. I spent some time praying, thanking God for speaking, and knowing He was doing a work in my soul. Then I headed back to join everyone for lunch.
We had a completely wonderful time there! Great food (to me, food is always great when someone else is preparing it, bringing it out to me, and cleaning up too - loved it!), nice accommodations, a lovely walk around the entire lake talking with my husband about what God had said to me and just enjoying this special time together, a wonderful bonfire later with the staff sharing about the day, times of communion remembering our Lord's death for us, and just great time away catching up with those we serve alongside. These are wonderful people that I struggle to stay in touch with because of our different ministries and schedules, but so long to! Something about getting away is truly good - maybe that's why Jesus withdrew to lonely places to be with His Father!
Well, we headed back down on Wednesday, and I felt sad leaving that mountain. God's hand is truly in His creation, and we felt just a little closer to Him there! But I also missed the kids and knew we needed to get home, and was thankful to return home with a full heart. We had been encouraged to live a more unhurried life, a life more intently listening to our Lord. And while I had so much to do to prepare for the following week with Adoption Day, Scott's birthday, and our Adoption Party, I had a inner peace and quietness knowing He'd be with me.
We got home on Wednesday afternoon, got three of our kids home, and unpacked and did the laundry routine. On Thursday night, Austin was studying for a vocab quiz and had a ton of words on index cards that he wanted me to quiz him on. He needed to know synonyms, antonyms, and definitions. The most amazing thing happened as I quizzed him! One of his words was "fortitude." Now that may not seem like much of an exciting thing, but it's synonym was the word "steadfast." I learned that it's meaning was "to be faithful in difficulty." I was blown away! My God had spoked the perfect word to me, and I was overwhelmed inside! It truly couldn't have been any clearer and more sweetly said! Thank you Lord!
And then we had to wait until Friday afternoon to get Aleeya. I realized that it was probably a really good thing that this week was so full, because it seemed so strange to have her gone and would have been hard if we were home that whole week. On Friday, we went to the school to pick her up, and as we drove in the parking lot, the scene was great! She did a little hop with a smile on her face and her hand waving, and I felt the tears coming on! I thought - "there's my girl; I really love her and I really missed her!" It was a good feeling!
Friday night, it was so wonderful having everyone home, hearing the stories of science camp, and just being together! I couldn't believe that in less than a week, the adoption would be finalized - wow!!!
The Butler Family
WE ARE FAMILY!!!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
A Visit from Grandparents & A Baptism . . . September 9, 2012
Before we knew it, the week had arrived for my Mom and Dad to come out from Florida to see us! This visit was pretty much happening because Aleeya had asked if they could come out for the finalization, but now we were excited they were coming even if the date of finalization had been moved out a few weeks! It would allow for us to have more time with them, instead of working on planning for the "big day" and the party to follow. I felt more relaxed for sure. Plus, it was a good distraction from the feeling of waiting for one more week to go by . . we all knew this week would fly (sad, but true)!
The Sunday before they arrived, Aleeya and I were the only ones in the van on the way to church (I had dropped the others off earlier since the boys are involved with the band and a discipleship group and Ashley wanted to go to early service). I mentioned that I had some pretty crazy dreams the night before and told her how I was supposed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my entire extended family and somehow got busy shopping for food and was like two hours late and everyone was upset with me. I told her I think it meant that I still had much to do to prepare for my parents coming and was feeling a little behind. She said she had a dream too. She said that Nana and Pop Pop had come to visit, but that every time she went to give them a hug, they didn't see her. I told her that dreams sometimes have reality built into them and tell us something of what we are actually feeling. (At other times, they seem totally off the wall!) She had never heard of that, but her dream made a lot of sense. I told her it sounded like she might be worried that my parents would see everyone else and pour their love on them, but maybe not her since they didn't know her as well. It sounded like she was wondering if they would really "see" her and love her? I realized at this point that she really was nervous and wondering what it would be like. I reassured her that my parents would totally love her and spoil her with lots of love just like they did their other three grandkids.
They arrived on Tuesday, and they did exactly that! They are very good at spoiling their grandkids, especially since we only see each other about once a year. They were thrilled to see her, to get to know her better, and to love on all of us. I loved watching them give her big HUGS and get to know her better! They walked in and began handing out gifts, giving them some spending money, and hanging out and playing games and talking with the kids! On Wednesday morning, the girls had chapel at school and Aleeya invited them to come. I told her they might be too tired since they had to get up really early (like 1am our time) to fly out and be here. Then they had stayed up with us and talked until about 9pm. She understood and we went to bed. I mentioned it to them, and they said, "oh yes, we'll go!" They were up and at the school for chapel, and I was told by a sweet friend later what a special time it was. They had both come in to sit by the girls. At first, it was Dad, Mom, Ashley, and Aleeya. Then Dad got up and walked all the way around the rows to come back around and sit by Aleeya, making everyone move down one. He sat beside her with his arm around her so proud! This made my heart melt. I loved that my parents where able to accept her as their granddaughter so quickly!
On one of the first couple days here, I remember seeing Aleeya outside on the swing trying to read her twenty minutes a day for school (it was hard to find a quite place to read since the girls had given their room to Nana and Pop Pop and were sleeping out in the office area). Then I saw Pop Pop head outside to sit down and talk with her. I knew Aleeya was trying to get her homework done, and kinda wanted to let Dad know, but I'm so glad I didn't! Dad was out there telling her about how he used to be a horseback policeman because he knew she liked horses! He was telling her a little bit about himself so she would know her Pop Pop better! It was really special!
We also one last visit from her social worker. This was a meeting I was not really wanting at this point. But it was neat that my parents got to meet her social worker, and she was kind enough to make it a really short visit! I was just really realizing how done we were with visits, how done we were with having locks on everything, how much we were wanting to stop being concerned about every little decision in case it would be against foster family rules, and how ready we were to be a normal family (or as normal as possible :) )! I felt bad that I didn't want to see this wonderful social worker, a lady I felt like had become a friend, someone I really respected, but we were finished being a foster family and were ready to move on! I was told by my social worker that this was completely natural and part of the process! There is a time you want social worker, and a time for them to stop coming to visit. It was time!
My Mom and Dad totally blessed us with some yummy meals, some special treats, and a fun visit to Angels Camp with the kids. Mom shared some special memories from some journals she had and gave each of the kids a journal to write down the special things that God does for them. It was great to go to church with them on Sunday morning, and it was fun having the girls go with us to the service. It was so sweet that when Ashley was getting cold during the service, Mom gave her jacket to her for her to wear - she looked so cute!
We had a really special memory to make together on Sunday evening. Ashley had been asking for months about getting baptized. She had accepted Jesus when she was younger, and was really ready to do this! Aleeya would listen attentively and ask questions, but didn't seem completely ready. About a week prior to their visit, Ashley mentioned it again, and I asked if she'd like to do it while Nana and Pop Pop were here! Of course! I asked Aleeya if she would want to get baptized, and she said she thought she should wait longer since she just recently got saved. I told her that the only reason we had Ashley wait a little bit was because she got saved so young and we wanted to be sure she understood it fully before she got baptized. I told her that at her age, I was sure that she understood! She said she was interested. So, I sat with the girls and read through the Scriptures that talked about baptism in the Bible. I showed them about Philip getting baptized right after he understood the Gospel, and then about Jesus being baptized in obedience to His Father. We talked some more about the meaning of it all, and Aleeya said she did want to get baptized. So, on Sunday evening, we went to a friend's pool, and in the presence of some really special friends and their Nana and Pop Pop, they were baptized by their Dad (it's pretty cool to have a Dad that's a Pastor)! It was a very special evening, and we were so glad to have family to celebrate it with! Their Daddy was so blessed, and we were thankful that all four of our kids had accepted Jesus as their Savior, been baptized, and were desiring to follow Jesus with their lives - so thankful!
Time flies quickly when family is here somehow, and before we knew it, it was time for Nana and Pop Pop to head back to Florida. We were so glad for the time they had with us, so happy that Aleeya got to meet her grandparents, and thankful for special memories made together! It had been a great week for sure and we were one week closer to finalization!
The Sunday before they arrived, Aleeya and I were the only ones in the van on the way to church (I had dropped the others off earlier since the boys are involved with the band and a discipleship group and Ashley wanted to go to early service). I mentioned that I had some pretty crazy dreams the night before and told her how I was supposed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my entire extended family and somehow got busy shopping for food and was like two hours late and everyone was upset with me. I told her I think it meant that I still had much to do to prepare for my parents coming and was feeling a little behind. She said she had a dream too. She said that Nana and Pop Pop had come to visit, but that every time she went to give them a hug, they didn't see her. I told her that dreams sometimes have reality built into them and tell us something of what we are actually feeling. (At other times, they seem totally off the wall!) She had never heard of that, but her dream made a lot of sense. I told her it sounded like she might be worried that my parents would see everyone else and pour their love on them, but maybe not her since they didn't know her as well. It sounded like she was wondering if they would really "see" her and love her? I realized at this point that she really was nervous and wondering what it would be like. I reassured her that my parents would totally love her and spoil her with lots of love just like they did their other three grandkids.
They arrived on Tuesday, and they did exactly that! They are very good at spoiling their grandkids, especially since we only see each other about once a year. They were thrilled to see her, to get to know her better, and to love on all of us. I loved watching them give her big HUGS and get to know her better! They walked in and began handing out gifts, giving them some spending money, and hanging out and playing games and talking with the kids! On Wednesday morning, the girls had chapel at school and Aleeya invited them to come. I told her they might be too tired since they had to get up really early (like 1am our time) to fly out and be here. Then they had stayed up with us and talked until about 9pm. She understood and we went to bed. I mentioned it to them, and they said, "oh yes, we'll go!" They were up and at the school for chapel, and I was told by a sweet friend later what a special time it was. They had both come in to sit by the girls. At first, it was Dad, Mom, Ashley, and Aleeya. Then Dad got up and walked all the way around the rows to come back around and sit by Aleeya, making everyone move down one. He sat beside her with his arm around her so proud! This made my heart melt. I loved that my parents where able to accept her as their granddaughter so quickly!
On one of the first couple days here, I remember seeing Aleeya outside on the swing trying to read her twenty minutes a day for school (it was hard to find a quite place to read since the girls had given their room to Nana and Pop Pop and were sleeping out in the office area). Then I saw Pop Pop head outside to sit down and talk with her. I knew Aleeya was trying to get her homework done, and kinda wanted to let Dad know, but I'm so glad I didn't! Dad was out there telling her about how he used to be a horseback policeman because he knew she liked horses! He was telling her a little bit about himself so she would know her Pop Pop better! It was really special!
We also one last visit from her social worker. This was a meeting I was not really wanting at this point. But it was neat that my parents got to meet her social worker, and she was kind enough to make it a really short visit! I was just really realizing how done we were with visits, how done we were with having locks on everything, how much we were wanting to stop being concerned about every little decision in case it would be against foster family rules, and how ready we were to be a normal family (or as normal as possible :) )! I felt bad that I didn't want to see this wonderful social worker, a lady I felt like had become a friend, someone I really respected, but we were finished being a foster family and were ready to move on! I was told by my social worker that this was completely natural and part of the process! There is a time you want social worker, and a time for them to stop coming to visit. It was time!
My Mom and Dad totally blessed us with some yummy meals, some special treats, and a fun visit to Angels Camp with the kids. Mom shared some special memories from some journals she had and gave each of the kids a journal to write down the special things that God does for them. It was great to go to church with them on Sunday morning, and it was fun having the girls go with us to the service. It was so sweet that when Ashley was getting cold during the service, Mom gave her jacket to her for her to wear - she looked so cute!
We had a really special memory to make together on Sunday evening. Ashley had been asking for months about getting baptized. She had accepted Jesus when she was younger, and was really ready to do this! Aleeya would listen attentively and ask questions, but didn't seem completely ready. About a week prior to their visit, Ashley mentioned it again, and I asked if she'd like to do it while Nana and Pop Pop were here! Of course! I asked Aleeya if she would want to get baptized, and she said she thought she should wait longer since she just recently got saved. I told her that the only reason we had Ashley wait a little bit was because she got saved so young and we wanted to be sure she understood it fully before she got baptized. I told her that at her age, I was sure that she understood! She said she was interested. So, I sat with the girls and read through the Scriptures that talked about baptism in the Bible. I showed them about Philip getting baptized right after he understood the Gospel, and then about Jesus being baptized in obedience to His Father. We talked some more about the meaning of it all, and Aleeya said she did want to get baptized. So, on Sunday evening, we went to a friend's pool, and in the presence of some really special friends and their Nana and Pop Pop, they were baptized by their Dad (it's pretty cool to have a Dad that's a Pastor)! It was a very special evening, and we were so glad to have family to celebrate it with! Their Daddy was so blessed, and we were thankful that all four of our kids had accepted Jesus as their Savior, been baptized, and were desiring to follow Jesus with their lives - so thankful!
Time flies quickly when family is here somehow, and before we knew it, it was time for Nana and Pop Pop to head back to Florida. We were so glad for the time they had with us, so happy that Aleeya got to meet her grandparents, and thankful for special memories made together! It had been a great week for sure and we were one week closer to finalization!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Somewhere in the Middle . . . September 6, 2012
While the summer had been kinda rough at times, with our move and the struggles I sensed Aleeya working through on vacation, the weekends since school began proved to show more signs of hardship in her life. Throughout the week, she would come home from school and do the normal schedule of eating snack, making lunch for the next day, reading, and doing homework. But on the weekends, I noticed her spending A LOT of time in her room, reading . . writing in her journal . . just being in there. At first, I figured she was overly tired from all the extra that school added to her life, or that maybe she was just wanting some time to herself and perhaps that was normal at this age. After all, I haven't had a 12 year old girl yet. But after awhile, it started to make me feel like something wasn't right. I started to feel sad . . and a little frustrated. I checked on her, and she seemed ok, but things just didn't seem right. I tried to give it some time, a couple of weekends, but then I really began feeling like she was in her room too much. I felt like I never saw her. She came out for meals, or if we were going somewhere, but that was about it. She was nice enough, and wasn't causing any trouble, but it felt like she wasn't really a "part" of our family. After a few weekends of this, I went in and asked if she was ok. She said she was fine, and I asked why she was spending so much time in her room? She didn't really have an answer, and I told her I'd really like one. I told her that I felt she was spending too much time in her room and asked her how it would feel if I spent all day in my room when she was home. She said she wouldn't like that. I told her that maybe she's feeling kinda tired or down, and that it would be good to get outside and be active and that she needed to not be in her room unless she needed to change or read or something for the rest of the weekend. Sometimes as mom's it seems we need to help our kids to get out of the slumps they may not notice (at least that was my reasoning). Then she began coming out, and it felt even more awkward. She didn't seem to know what to do with herself or have any kind of desire to do anything. I started thinking that it would be better if she were just in her room because of how she made it feel.
Scott and I talked about it that weekend, and as we talked, I began to think that maybe she was really beginning to struggle with this whole adoption thing. Maybe she wanted to feel loved, safe, and part of a family, but still didn't really get that it was going to finalize and really "happen." I started to think that she was feeling like she was not being loyal to her birth family by getting adopted. It kinda seemed like she was becoming less attached to us. Later, as I talked through things with Aleeya, I asked her if she was having some of these feelings and she said yes. She was struggling and wondering if her birth family knew about the adoption and if it made them sad. I told her I felt like she was trying to be somewhere in the middle . . knowing she couldn't go back to her birth family and understanding that wasn't best, yet not wanting to attach to us because that may upset her birth family . . so she was kinda being on her own. She kinda seemed to agree that this was how she was feeling. She was definitely drifting. Whenever we talked about finalization day, Aleeya would seem really happy, but there was so much else going on inside her as well. I learned that much of what she was feeling and thinking was part of the normal grieving process. She was loosing her birth family, the family she lived with for 8 years. There was some denial about her birth family, some feelings of great hope that they would accept Jesus and be better, some wondering about if the finalization would actually go through. She had a dream that her social worker would come on finalization day and say that it wouldn't work out. I wasn't sure if this was a fear, something she kinda wanted to happen, or just an uncertainty within her because of how often things had changed in the past with the court system and her life. We assured her that everything would work out, and even had her social worker confirm on her visit. Oh yeah, her social worker called to visit yet one last time because the finalization date was pushed back a few weeks. I so wanted to say "no, we don't need a visit," but knew she should come and I should be kind. We had just thought it was her last visit a couple of times now, and that was frustrating.
Because of her age and all the questions she had, I decided to take her by the court house so she could see the room where we would go and have an idea of what things were like. Right as we went toward the front door, some interesting people came out. I thought, "oh boy, this may not have been such a great idea!" Then, we had to go through metal detectors as we entered, which was really comforting. Thankfully, there weren't many people in the halls and it was good for me to remember exactly where we would need to go. She thought the room looked kinda small for a court room, and later told me she was a little scared about the courthouse. I told her we would be going early in the morning, and the judges really enjoy these hearings! I "think" it was a good idea to help prepare her?
It was at this point that I realized that it was a good thing, a God thing, that we had some more time to process before the actual finalization day in court. God knew better than I once again! I began praying that God would calm her heart, help her to be honest with her struggles, and see the good that God was providing for her. I so wanted to see her being at peace, feeling His love, and enjoying the life God was giving her.
I still remember her saying that she wanted to get adopted soon after we met her, and I thought how hard that would be to say as a girl that left her birth family at eight. I think I would always want to be with my birth family, and I think she's been feeling that more since realizing that it's actually happening. And while I understand it, it often hurts. I reminded her that while adoption doesn't always sound that great because kids want to be with the family God originally gave them, God has allowed it because He really cares about children and wants them to be safe and loved! I told her we loved her so much and would be her forever family.
We would really appreciate your prayers for all of us as we experience this day together soon! God knows what's going on, and if He can calm the raging storm, He can calm our hearts as well.
Scott and I talked about it that weekend, and as we talked, I began to think that maybe she was really beginning to struggle with this whole adoption thing. Maybe she wanted to feel loved, safe, and part of a family, but still didn't really get that it was going to finalize and really "happen." I started to think that she was feeling like she was not being loyal to her birth family by getting adopted. It kinda seemed like she was becoming less attached to us. Later, as I talked through things with Aleeya, I asked her if she was having some of these feelings and she said yes. She was struggling and wondering if her birth family knew about the adoption and if it made them sad. I told her I felt like she was trying to be somewhere in the middle . . knowing she couldn't go back to her birth family and understanding that wasn't best, yet not wanting to attach to us because that may upset her birth family . . so she was kinda being on her own. She kinda seemed to agree that this was how she was feeling. She was definitely drifting. Whenever we talked about finalization day, Aleeya would seem really happy, but there was so much else going on inside her as well. I learned that much of what she was feeling and thinking was part of the normal grieving process. She was loosing her birth family, the family she lived with for 8 years. There was some denial about her birth family, some feelings of great hope that they would accept Jesus and be better, some wondering about if the finalization would actually go through. She had a dream that her social worker would come on finalization day and say that it wouldn't work out. I wasn't sure if this was a fear, something she kinda wanted to happen, or just an uncertainty within her because of how often things had changed in the past with the court system and her life. We assured her that everything would work out, and even had her social worker confirm on her visit. Oh yeah, her social worker called to visit yet one last time because the finalization date was pushed back a few weeks. I so wanted to say "no, we don't need a visit," but knew she should come and I should be kind. We had just thought it was her last visit a couple of times now, and that was frustrating.
Because of her age and all the questions she had, I decided to take her by the court house so she could see the room where we would go and have an idea of what things were like. Right as we went toward the front door, some interesting people came out. I thought, "oh boy, this may not have been such a great idea!" Then, we had to go through metal detectors as we entered, which was really comforting. Thankfully, there weren't many people in the halls and it was good for me to remember exactly where we would need to go. She thought the room looked kinda small for a court room, and later told me she was a little scared about the courthouse. I told her we would be going early in the morning, and the judges really enjoy these hearings! I "think" it was a good idea to help prepare her?
It was at this point that I realized that it was a good thing, a God thing, that we had some more time to process before the actual finalization day in court. God knew better than I once again! I began praying that God would calm her heart, help her to be honest with her struggles, and see the good that God was providing for her. I so wanted to see her being at peace, feeling His love, and enjoying the life God was giving her.
I still remember her saying that she wanted to get adopted soon after we met her, and I thought how hard that would be to say as a girl that left her birth family at eight. I think I would always want to be with my birth family, and I think she's been feeling that more since realizing that it's actually happening. And while I understand it, it often hurts. I reminded her that while adoption doesn't always sound that great because kids want to be with the family God originally gave them, God has allowed it because He really cares about children and wants them to be safe and loved! I told her we loved her so much and would be her forever family.
We would really appreciate your prayers for all of us as we experience this day together soon! God knows what's going on, and if He can calm the raging storm, He can calm our hearts as well.
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