We were excited to be able to visit with Janice once again on Thursday. We hadn't seen her since Monday, and it seemed like such a long time!!! Our whole family was excited, yet it was hard to leave town since my parents were here. They were understanding, but we only get to seem them once or twice a year, so we felt bad. I remember Ashley saying she didn't want to leave Nana and Pop Pop. But we were encouraged not to overwhelm Janice too much with extended family and friends. It was a lot for her to meet the five of us and we needed to have quality time with her!
We picked her up at a beautiful park from a day camp she was attending. I was amazed how good I felt seeing her again!!! She had been at a trampoline place where they have trampolines on the floor and on the walls so you can literally "bounce off the walls," and she had been bowling in the afternoon. Plus, it was a really hot day, so when we picked her up, you could see she was really tired! The good news was we didn't feel the nerves we had in the past. She seemed really comfortable with us. We brought our dog Bogey since she really enjoyed him, and she was happy to see him!
We headed to pick up some dinner at KFC and went to a park to have a picnic. We had brought some drinks, games, and some blankets and chairs. We found a nice spot in the grass and prayed together and ate. After we all ate, she seemed to have some energy return. We played a game of croquet, played on the park some, took a few pictures, and then threw the football around. It was a fun and relaxing time. She really seemed to like our iphone and our computer at home, so we decided to take her to a nearby Apple store and show her around. The kids all enjoyed playing on ipad's and just hanging out, and we were glad that we could have Bogey with us too since it was in a group of outdoor stores. She said that she hadn't shopped much at the Gap, so I took her there to look around. She liked some of their backpacks and we checked out some of the clothes. I told her that the backpacks normally go on sale closer to school and maybe we could get one. It was fun to have her to myself for a short bit. Then we headed back to the van and asked her if there was something else she wanted to do. We had seen a yogurt place earlier, and she said that would be fun. So, we headed there and all ate together outside on some steps. Then it was time to get her home.
We walked her to the door and talked with the foster dad for awhile. Another neighbor was out and Janice and the kids went over to see his dog. While they were there, she introduced the kids as HER ADOPTIVE FAMILY!!! The kids told us about it after we got in the car. I was amazed!!! I wasn't sure where she was in all of this, but she was clearly understanding and getting more comfortable with what was going on. At times, it felt like there was a big elephant in the room and that we should talk about it, but we wanted to take things slow and her social worker wanted us to as well. But this was a great sign! We gave her hugs and headed back home. I was going to get to come back up on Saturday to watch her at a horse play day she was involved with, but Scott wouldn't see her for awhile. I could tell it was hard on him, but I thought it might be good to have some time alone with her as well.
The Butler Family
WE ARE FAMILY!!!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Emotions, Exhaustion, Frustration, Faith . . . July 2011
While Monday was a tough day, the rest of the week didn't seem to get much easier. I realized that we were emotionally worn, we were bonding with this sweet girl and wanted to be with her and have her in our home. It was consuming our thoughts and days, but we wanted to be "ok." As well, we were exhausted! We had been traveling back and forth on a 3 hour drive about 6 times in the past couple of weeks, and trying to maintain a "normal" schedule at home. And we weren't sleeping as well as we normally do. There was a frustration level because we wanted to discuss the future with Janice's social worker, but were unable to because she was out of the country. And it was difficult talking with her foster mom at times. While I wanted to be thankful for her because I knew she cared for Janice and the transition, and I really wanted to keep things peaceful, at times I just felt like I did not know enough and wasn't capable of making good decisions and that she was not willing to work with us. I think people wanted us to just act like it was no big deal, but it was to us. Intertwined in all of this was our faith, our faith in a GREAT GOD that knows what is best for us and will take us thru! We knew He was right there with us, but felt like we needed carried as we were too weak to continue.
On Wednesday night, I had a long discussion with the foster mom and tried to be sure she really heard me out on the reasons I felt like Janice should be placed with us during the week she was supposed to be at camp. There were some great reasons - mainly to have her settled in our home for a week before our two week vacation and school starting the following week - and she even agreed on that at times. But, she really wasn't ready to say that Janice could miss camp. And with her social worker not here, there was not much I could do. I felt helpless and frustrated and yet knew that it was in God's hands. At that point, I really knew that I had to leave it there. And I so didn't want Janice to feel in the middle of any of this. If it would keep relationships going well, then her going to camp would have to be the thing to do. Yet we continued to pray that God's will would be done, even if that wasn't the plan we had at the time. I think another hard part was knowing we would be without her for a week or more if she did go to camp and we had been visiting her every 3-4 days, which is really encouraged to keep the bond going once you have met your child.
The part I think I struggled with the most was not wanting to feel lousy when my faith in God was so big! I did trust Him and I did know He had a plan in all of this, but I still felt so sad and worn down. I think others wanted me to just let it go. I had a hard time with people just trying to fix my problem and felt guilty for not being "happy." I felt like I could imagine what it must be like to have a child taken from you, or to loose a child, or to just be helpless. Our social workers encouraged us that this was actually a good thing. It showed that we were committed to our girl and were ready for her to be with us. That was pretty encouraging! And the strange part was that while we longed for her to be with us, there was still a small sense of nervousness. We were trying so hard to have her come and be with her forever family, yet wondering what all the changes would be like for all of us.
I felt really thankful for other adoptive families and some close friends that just really "got it." They hurt for us, prayed for us, and understood. I realized that we probably just needed to go through this with our God and know the He understood us. We were thankful for each bit of encouragement, yet our hearts were still heavy and hurting.
On Wednesday night, I had a long discussion with the foster mom and tried to be sure she really heard me out on the reasons I felt like Janice should be placed with us during the week she was supposed to be at camp. There were some great reasons - mainly to have her settled in our home for a week before our two week vacation and school starting the following week - and she even agreed on that at times. But, she really wasn't ready to say that Janice could miss camp. And with her social worker not here, there was not much I could do. I felt helpless and frustrated and yet knew that it was in God's hands. At that point, I really knew that I had to leave it there. And I so didn't want Janice to feel in the middle of any of this. If it would keep relationships going well, then her going to camp would have to be the thing to do. Yet we continued to pray that God's will would be done, even if that wasn't the plan we had at the time. I think another hard part was knowing we would be without her for a week or more if she did go to camp and we had been visiting her every 3-4 days, which is really encouraged to keep the bond going once you have met your child.
The part I think I struggled with the most was not wanting to feel lousy when my faith in God was so big! I did trust Him and I did know He had a plan in all of this, but I still felt so sad and worn down. I think others wanted me to just let it go. I had a hard time with people just trying to fix my problem and felt guilty for not being "happy." I felt like I could imagine what it must be like to have a child taken from you, or to loose a child, or to just be helpless. Our social workers encouraged us that this was actually a good thing. It showed that we were committed to our girl and were ready for her to be with us. That was pretty encouraging! And the strange part was that while we longed for her to be with us, there was still a small sense of nervousness. We were trying so hard to have her come and be with her forever family, yet wondering what all the changes would be like for all of us.
I felt really thankful for other adoptive families and some close friends that just really "got it." They hurt for us, prayed for us, and understood. I realized that we probably just needed to go through this with our God and know the He understood us. We were thankful for each bit of encouragement, yet our hearts were still heavy and hurting.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
4th of July Parade . . . July 4, 2011
We woke up early and headed about an hour and a half away to the parade. We needed to be there by 9am to see Janice in the parade route. We found a parking spot in the very busy streets, and headed with our chairs to find the foster family and sit with them. On our way, we were so excited because we saw Janice waiting on the float. The parade hadn't started yet, and they were in a long line of floats. She was wearing the shirt we bought her, and we matched! I remember her saying it would be cool if we showed up at the parade in the same shirts (that was the point, but she was just understanding it over the weekend)! She jumped down to see us and introduced us to her foster family's oldest son who is in college and his girlfriend. They were staying on the float with her and seemed very sweet. Then we headed down the street to find the foster family. A really wonderful family that they didn't even know had offered for them to join them under their pop-up tent and were so kind to all of us throughout the parade! They played with Ashley and the foster kids quite a bit and were so friendly! God had blessed us with a great spot as it was a pretty hot day!
As the parade began, I knew I wanted to talk to the foster mom about upcoming plans and times to see Janice. One of the big things I wanted to explain was what Janice's social worker had told me before she left on vacation about placement, as well as how the rest of our summer looked. She too was wanting to talk about plans and told me what they had planned for Janice. While she was open to most things I said and even offered us some good times to see Janice, she didn't really seem to hear all that I was saying about the week we thought would be best for placement, the week her social worker and I had talked about. She had signed Janice up for an awesome camp that week and said that she needed to go. We had quite a few interruptions due to floats coming by, her having the other two young foster kids with her, and me having my kids as well. I finally decided that this wasn't a great time to talk and felt a little frustrated, just wanting to be fully heard.
We finally got to see Janice as she came by in the parade. They had some adorable ponies in front of her float with painted hooves (red and blue) and decorations all over them. We took lots of pictures as she passed and waved. Our whole family was out as close as we could be and wanted to show her how much we supported her!
Her foster mom also shared some more information about Janice and her experiences with her. These were mainly things we already knew, but from her perspective. That too made for a tough day, but I was ok with it for the most part. I could tell she really cared for Janice and wanted the best for her, and that made me glad. We had prayed for that to be the case before we ever knew Janice. Meanwhile, Scott really enjoyed his time with the foster dad, and the two young foster kids were precious. At the end of the parade, they gave us a map as to where to see her at the end of the parade. So, we headed back to the van and went to see her! We wanted to say goodbye and get a picture of all of us in our shirts to have as a memory. Well, it was very confusing at the end of the parade, and we couldn't find her anywhere! We did see a few people from her group, and they tried to point us in the right direction, but no luck. We were all a little tired at this point from carrying the chairs and cooler, to walking all over looking for her, but the kids really wanted to see her too!
We called her foster family, but didn't get an answer. We headed back to the van feeling very sad and hoping to still see her. Then we got a phone call, and it was Janice! This was a big deal since she doesn't like talking on the phone and wanted to mainly email. She said she was sorry we didn't see each other and that they were already home. Her voice sounded so sweet. She mentioned that we could come over, but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea as I knew they had family coming over. I asked about possibly taking her to lunch, but that didn't work out. We hung up and I felt so sad. I needed the closure of saying goodbye and seeing her one more time.
Then we decided that since she said we could come over, we could at least drop by her home to take a picture and say goodbye. We tried to call back, but didn't get an answer so we just headed there on faith hoping it would be ok. We felt a little awkward walking up to the house, but the foster dad let us in and we explained we just wanted to say goodbye. Janice looked very surprised to see us. We talked to her about the parade a little bit and then got a picture together and said our goodbyes.
Then we decided that since she said we could come over, we could at least drop by her home to take a picture and say goodbye. We tried to call back, but didn't get an answer so we just headed there on faith hoping it would be ok. We felt a little awkward walking up to the house, but the foster dad let us in and we explained we just wanted to say goodbye. Janice looked very surprised to see us. We talked to her about the parade a little bit and then got a picture together and said our goodbyes.
We decided to go to P.F. Chang's since we were so close and try to enjoy lunch together. Again, we were trying to have fun during the process. I felt like I was going to burst into tears at any moment. The emotions of the day were running high for me, and I knew it would be a few days before we saw her again. While we had only had her two days, she was beginning to feel like she was part of our family! We had grown to love her so quickly, and it felt empty without her!
We got to the restaurant, and Austin could tell Scott and I weren't doing so well. He asked if we were tired, and we said we were just missing her. I headed to the bathroom hoping to let some of the tears come out, but they didn't. We sat down, and right across from us was a girl that reminded us of Janice with her mom and dad who were of a different race. We wondered if she had been adopted. I was literally staring right at her because of where I was sitting. Then our waitress came up, she somehow mentioned Thai food and how she loves it. (That's Janice's favorite food as well.) I teared up then and thought I couldn't handle much more. We finished lunch and headed back home. We stopped along the way to break up the trip and did a little shopping. It was hard to be anywhere, and I kept wanting to feel fine, but it just wasn't happening.
That night we decided to spend some time with some close friends and let the kids swim. I felt bad because I was not very great company, but my feelings of exhaustion, sadness and frustration were very strong and I needed to work through it. This was how the process works to make the transition happen slowly, but leaving her after having her was very difficult! I was feeling like a new step-parent might feel, watching her go back and forth between homes, knowing both of us had differing ideas of how things should go, and it was hard! I knew God would help us through, but I was drained for sure. I felt so thankful for friends that loved me in spite of it all, listened, and cared. I was thankful our kids were having fun with some friends swimming and doing fireworks! My husband was so supportive and loving and that helped me so much! We left and headed home because my parents had just flown into San Francisco from Florida, and we were excited to see them. It was going to be a busy couple of weeks, and I couldn't really think past the moment. I knew I would need God's strength each day, as I felt so depleted. We headed to bed hoping to feel better the next day.
A Weekend Together! . . . July 2 & 3
Throughout the week, we tried to think of fun things we could do and yet so didn't want to overwhelm her all at once. During our classes, they really encouraged you to keep things low key and let them get to know your family and just hang out around the house. Since she was 11, it seemed like it would be good to have some fun things to do for all of us to make things more comfortable! We kinda made out a schedule of what we thought might work, and decided to keep things free as we went. I emailed her during the week to let her know that we might swim, play basketball, and that we would be going to church so she could plan for clothes. I told her that I would stay right by her side at church and that we really loved it and hoped she would too. I also told her we might get a haircut, and some other things. She emailed back that she was excited and would love to go to church with us! That was it; that was her email message! I was amazed . . . of all the things she could have said stuff about, she picked church!
Her social worker was leaving for vacation for 2 weeks, so I felt like I should get a hold of her before she left. I found out she was going out of the country, so I was really glad we got to talk! I wanted to see where Janice was in all of this and ask if we should talk about adoption yet or not? She said to take things slow and see how it went, but that she would talk to her about adoption more when she got back. She just wanted things to move along naturally. She said that Janice knew that she was looking for an adoptive family, but that she hadn't directly said we were it. I also told her about what the rest of our summer looked like with vacation and when school would start, and she said if things went well over our visits that we could possibly have her placed in our home the week that she returned, which would be the week of July 18th! We talked about having one more long weekend visit July 14th-17th, as well as little visits in between, and she said that sounded good. Now, we were getting really excited, and nervous about all the change that would be happening! Nervous for her, nervous for us.
We woke up early, picked her up at 9am and headed home. The kids played some dsi and iphone games on the way home and just hung out. We talked about some of our plans for the weekend so she could have a feel for what was ahead. We knew that she was in a parade on Monday, the 4th of July and would need to wear a red shirt for the Sonrise Equestrian Group. So, we decided to stop and get shirts for all of us! We tried Old Navy and they had very little in stock. Then we headed to Family Christian Stores in Manteca, and they had lots to chose from! She and I got matching red shirts that said "ReBORN in the USA" and the rest of the family got blue, gray and white shirts. While she was there, I noticed her looking at a movie about dogs and later went back to get it for the next time she would come.
When we arrived home, we introduced her to our dog, "Bogey," and she loved him! We showed her around the house and put her stuff in the "girls room." As we went into the very PINK girls room, I mentioned that Ashley's new favorite color was green and that we could change the room to blue and green if she liked that! I had just redone the bedding in the room, but at the time was thinking we would be getting a younger child. But now, I was ready to do it all over again with paint and bed coverings! The kids showed her some Kinect games on the XBox 360 and they played that for awhile. They also jumped on the trampoline. I had bought some Pixos, so we took turns trying to make those. Then it was time for lunch, and we had grilled chicken for the kids, corn on the cob, and watermelon. It was our last day on the Daniel Fast, and we really felt God had answered our prayers. It was so fun sitting around the kitchen table eating together!!! We had previously decided where our new seat assignments would be once Janice joined our family :). Scott had to leave soon after lunch for work, so we made plans to be out much of the afternoon.
While we were at our very first visit with Janice and the social workers, she had a picture up on the computer of a haircut she was interested in getting. When I heard she was coming, I thought that would be such a fun "girl thing" to do together and have a great hair stylist that would do just what we asked. My social worker informed me that it may not be a good idea as you can't do any major changes as a foster parent without permission. She really didn't want a major change, so he said to check with her social worker. I did, and she said that it had just been approved for her to get it cut, and that it would be a great idea! So, I asked Janice if she wanted to get her hair done and she said yes (it had been quite awhile and I was happy to take her)! So, we looked online together for a picture and finally found something that looked good. Ashley and I took her to our stylist and she seemed pretty nervous. I assured her that this lady does a great job and wouldn't take too much off! I had called her earlier in the week to make sure she knew what was going on and told her just to have fun with Janice! She did amazing!!! She was funny and sweet and made Janice feel less nervous. The picture we took had a girl with straight hair on it, but after she dried Janice's hair she began putting these beautiful curls in her hair! I was concerned that Janice may not like it, but the smile when she saw herself proved otherwise! She felt very pretty, and she was!!! Scott had me send him a picture when she was done, and he loved it!
We then went by the yogurt store next door and got yogurt together - her favorite was chocolate! On our way home, I asked if she had ever been to church with her other foster families. She said that she had with one of them and she thought it was called something Temple. I mentioned Calvary Temple and she said she thought that was right. Ashley then proceeded to ask her if they told her how to ask Jesus in their heart because they do at our church. At first, she said "what?" and then I think she said yes, but we weren't sure of how much she understood. Loved that Ashley was concerned about her salvation right off! When we got home, the boys thought Janice looked very pretty and said so - it was sweet! Ashley had been dying to have Janice play with her in her room, so Janice went with her and they played horses. Ashley was really enjoying playing pretend, and Janice was kind enough to sit and play with her. After a little bit, I said that we should head downstairs since I had bought what I thought would be a fun craft to do together. It turned out to be quite difficult - friendship bracelets. We tried making them, and Janice's turned out the best, but all of ours were too small. We may try it again later sometime when we are a little less stressed. Things were going well, but there was still a bit of a nervous feel with everyone.
Some really great friends had mentioned that we were welcome to come swim at their home if that worked for us. They have a girl about Janice's age, as well as a younger daughter and older son, so everyone would have a friend. Plus, I knew things would be very comfortable with them and we would feel at home there. They also offered for us to have dinner there if she was doing well and everyone was comfortable - that sounded perfect to me! It would allow me to be more relaxed and spend time with Janice instead of fixing food. I asked her if she'd like to go swimming and she said yes! Then she asked me if the curls would come out of her hair if she went underwater. I sadly said yes, but that I would try to put them back in tomorrow morning. Everyone got their swimsuits on and off we went. I remember she hadn't brought flip flops so she had her swimsuit on with ankle socks and tennis shoes. I asked her if she wanted to borrow some of mine, and she was happy to do so :).
When we got to the house around 3pm, everyone was so kind and relaxed and just treated her like a new friend. The kids got in the pool and something amazing happened! I saw all the nervousness disappear! She had asked me if I was going to swim earlier and I said maybe. I could tell she wanted me to, so after talking a bit with the family, I got in the pool with everyone along with the other parents! We played Marco Polo and just had fun doing swimming races, and doing a fun trick where you pull each other through the water. The kids were having fun on the diving board too! Once as Janice was getting on the diving board, she slipped off and her knee hit the concrete. There was quite a big scrape and it started to bleed pretty hard. She was very brave and strong about it and said she was fine until the blood began to come down her leg. We all felt awful! She came over and sat down while all the adults gathered to help her get fixed up. She started getting a little quiet as it began to hurt worse. All the kids got out and we decided to play a game of Apples to Apples kid version. The blood went through a couple of large bandaids, so we changed them. She was quite a trooper and tried to be ok, and we all felt so sad that it happened! We had a great time playing the game though, and soon all of us were talking about how hungry we were getting (especially since the cards kept mentioning food). So they asked if we wanted to stay and have pizza, and we said yes. They also had some chips and salad and the kids were all happy eating together outside.
Then they all got back in the pool and had a blast again! Janice hung with the younger girls for quite awhile and played pretend tigers with them - it was so sweet! She was the mama tiger :). At one point, she had one of them on each hip! They had a little ice cream snack on the side of the pool, swam a bit longer, and then we decided to head home. We knew Scott would be home soon :)!!!
Everyone got in their jammies and wanted to watch a movie - her pick. She picked "Despicable Me." That was pretty amazing since the story line of that is about three girls getting adopted! We made pop corn and enjoyed the movie together. Then it was time for bed, so we headed up. We had been memorizing a Proverb with our kids at night, but I thought it would be better to do a small devotion tonight. I checked in a kids devotional we have to see if there was one on Psalms 91, partly because of how much it meant to me and partly because I thought she might be afraid to be sleeping at a new home. There was one, so we read a portion of the chapter and talked about how God loves us and wants to hold us, comfort us, and protect us with his feathers and wings. She seemed to enjoy it and then we prayed together, thanking God that Janice was with us.
Everyone went to bed and Janice picked the top bunk! I knew she would want to sleep with Bogey, and Alec had told her that Bogey can't get down from there, so that would be good. It was a great plan! After everyone was tucked in and I was sure she was doing ok, I decided to stay up awhile to be sure she got to sleep alright. I finished up some laundry and checked emails and things. While I was downstairs, I heard the girls talking and a big burst of laughter - it made my heart smile! I later found out they were telling jokes - how fun! I probably checked on her like 4 or 5 times and wished I could see her better, but I didn't want to climb the ladder to look :). So, I finally headed to bed. I can't say that I slept well, as I kept waking up hoping she was ok. I decided to get up really early the next morning to get my shower ahead and to be sure I had time to help her get ready and spend some time with her.
The girls got up early and were watching TV, so I just got ready and enjoyed a nice morning talking with God and spending time in His Word. I so desperately needed it! I asked Janice if she slept well and she said yes, until Bogey started whining some to get down this morning. When I went in their room, Bogey was still on the top bunk by himself because he doesn't trust kids to get him off of high places. I got ready pretty ahead of schedule and told the girls to come on up. She had a cute little sundress out and I asked her if it needed ironed and she said yes. So, I ironed it for her and then asked if the girls would like their nails painted. They both said yes, so we picked our colors and they wanted every other toe and fingernail different colors - it was fun! I also wanted to check on her knee and get it cleaned up. I put some peroxide on it and blew, and then added neo-sporin and gave her a new band aid. Again, she was brave. She also had some scrapes on her leg from another time earlier that week in a friend's pool, and the foster mom had asked that I keep neo-sporin on that as well. I was amazed at how I loved taking care of her . . . sometimes when it's other people's kids, I don't do so well with the germ thing and stuff like this, but I had no issues! She was already becoming our child in my heart!
Then I asked her if she wanted to get her hair curled, and off we went into my bathroom! Time doing a girls hair is always time well spent! We talked openly and enjoyed the time! I knew she had a good friend that she hung out with and asked what his name was. She said "Gabriel," and I said oh, like the angel that told Mary she would birth Jesus. She said she thought that was James, and I told her the story. She asked me if I thought anyone had ever seen Jesus. I told her how they did when He was on earth, but then he died on the cross for our sins and rose again. At that point, she said "oh, after He was in the big boulder." Clearly, she had seen some pictures or heard the story. I then told her that people saw him for 40 days after that, but then He went to heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. I told her that while I can't see Jesus with my eyes, I know He lives! I could not believe we were having a conversation about the Trinity on our first visit, and so naturally and easily. We were having a great time and she was totally comfortable! She asked how long church would be and I told her about an hour and half. She seemed ok with it.
We did our normal Sunday routine and stopped to get doughnuts on the way to church (yum, Valley doughnuts is the best)! I was planning to get there a little late so she didn't have to meet people, but somehow we still got their early. I figured that was good since Scott was opening with a song, and I really wanted her to hear him. As we arrived, we saw two friends, both of whom have adopted and have been so supportive of us! Later, as I talked to Sarah Boone, she said that she was so excited and happy, that she almost burst into tears! It was so cool because I hardly saw anyone else! It was as if God orchestrated the whole thing. I had sent out an email asking that people not come up to meet her or say anything about adoption as I knew people would be so excited and may not realize that it would be too much this weekend. I also mentioned to Mark B. that we would be coming by Club 56 for her to see it, but to try not to notice her too much :). He was so kind and understanding and prayed with me for our weekend - what a blessing! Everyone was so thoughtful and some seemed to try to move away when we did try to introduce her. She actually seemed to enjoy meeting people a little! At first, she stayed very close to my side, especially as we entered the side door and she saw how big the worship center was! She was like, "wow!" But as we walked through the hallway close to Scott's office to go into the main service, Scott's voice came on the speakers in the hall and I said that's Scott. She started waving her hand for us to hurry and started running toward the door. Austin and I tried to catch up and I felt so happy! We sat mid-way back in my normal section, and she loved it! She was totally into it, singing and clapping, and even "wohood" after one of the songs! It was absolutely incredible!! I was a little nervous about communion being offered her first Sunday, and considered taking her out to see Scott's office during it, but as Bobby began to talk about it, I felt a peace. I explained that this was mainly for the members of the church and told her she could let it pass by. She seemed fine with that and continued to enjoy the worship!
After the music was over, we went out and saw the worship team in the hall. She seemed really excited to meet them, and Scott took us to see his office. He has this huge world map on the wall, and we found Saipan - it was fun! She says she really likes it here in California better, but we love to see her heritage and care about it. We then all walked out and saw the Venue and then walked over to Club 56 and sat in the back. Quite a few of the kids stared back at us, but she seemed comfortable with us! Mark B. did an amazing job explaining the prodigal son and kept our attention so well! He made me laugh really hard as well, and Janice did too! We left a little early and went back to main service to hear Scott end with "The Lord's Prayer." Then we headed out to get Ashley from class and met a few close friends along the way. She seemed to really enjoy the whole morning and felt really comfortable! I was so happy!
We decided we'd hit In-N-Out for lunch, and I wanted her to meet another girl her age whose family are close friends of ours. I asked her mom if she could join us for lunch, and they loved the idea! She came with us in the van and we all went to lunch together. They seemed to hit it off pretty good, and Janice seemed so comfortable! We saw quite a few friends at In-N-Out from church, and one of them even gave us their table as they were leaving!
We dropped our friend off and met the rest of their family. He happened to be a nurse practitioner so I had him take a quick look at her knee. He said it just took a layer of skin off and would be fine. While we were there, the girls went up to see her room, which happened to be a pretty blue! Janice loved it! We saw some horses close by and went to look at them quickly. Then we headed home. The kids wanted to get on the trampoline with the sprinkler, but we had to head back. She had said she wanted to see a couple of movies that were out during our previous family visit, so we had her pick one. She picked "Kung Fu Panda II," so we headed out to see that on the way home. This too was a movie all about adoption - incredible!!! There were parts of it that I felt for her watching, but she loved the movie. One of the things it emphasizes is that it's not how you start that matters in life, but what you become.
We had eaten lots of popcorn, but still felt like we should feed her some type of dinner before getting her home. Plus, we weren't ready to drop her off yet! We went by Old Navy and shopped a little bit first, and ended up getting her a pair of sunglasses that Alec picked out for her. I was loving it! We then headed back and stopped at a Burger King (her favorite fast food restaurant) and kinda shared some meals. At some point during this time, Ashley had said something about having a new sister and Janice was interested and asked her more, but she caught my eye and was quiet. All the kids wanted to sit by her, and we said she was pretty popular in our family!
We then took her home and said we would be seeing her at the 4th of July parade the next day. Again, we walked her to the door and gave hugs. This time, we were all a lot more comfortable! We headed home, hearts full and emotions in full bloom. As we left, the pregnancy analogy came back. I felt like I had a baby, but had to go home without her. But the good news was that we would be heading back early the next morning!
Her social worker was leaving for vacation for 2 weeks, so I felt like I should get a hold of her before she left. I found out she was going out of the country, so I was really glad we got to talk! I wanted to see where Janice was in all of this and ask if we should talk about adoption yet or not? She said to take things slow and see how it went, but that she would talk to her about adoption more when she got back. She just wanted things to move along naturally. She said that Janice knew that she was looking for an adoptive family, but that she hadn't directly said we were it. I also told her about what the rest of our summer looked like with vacation and when school would start, and she said if things went well over our visits that we could possibly have her placed in our home the week that she returned, which would be the week of July 18th! We talked about having one more long weekend visit July 14th-17th, as well as little visits in between, and she said that sounded good. Now, we were getting really excited, and nervous about all the change that would be happening! Nervous for her, nervous for us.
We woke up early, picked her up at 9am and headed home. The kids played some dsi and iphone games on the way home and just hung out. We talked about some of our plans for the weekend so she could have a feel for what was ahead. We knew that she was in a parade on Monday, the 4th of July and would need to wear a red shirt for the Sonrise Equestrian Group. So, we decided to stop and get shirts for all of us! We tried Old Navy and they had very little in stock. Then we headed to Family Christian Stores in Manteca, and they had lots to chose from! She and I got matching red shirts that said "ReBORN in the USA" and the rest of the family got blue, gray and white shirts. While she was there, I noticed her looking at a movie about dogs and later went back to get it for the next time she would come.
When we arrived home, we introduced her to our dog, "Bogey," and she loved him! We showed her around the house and put her stuff in the "girls room." As we went into the very PINK girls room, I mentioned that Ashley's new favorite color was green and that we could change the room to blue and green if she liked that! I had just redone the bedding in the room, but at the time was thinking we would be getting a younger child. But now, I was ready to do it all over again with paint and bed coverings! The kids showed her some Kinect games on the XBox 360 and they played that for awhile. They also jumped on the trampoline. I had bought some Pixos, so we took turns trying to make those. Then it was time for lunch, and we had grilled chicken for the kids, corn on the cob, and watermelon. It was our last day on the Daniel Fast, and we really felt God had answered our prayers. It was so fun sitting around the kitchen table eating together!!! We had previously decided where our new seat assignments would be once Janice joined our family :). Scott had to leave soon after lunch for work, so we made plans to be out much of the afternoon.
While we were at our very first visit with Janice and the social workers, she had a picture up on the computer of a haircut she was interested in getting. When I heard she was coming, I thought that would be such a fun "girl thing" to do together and have a great hair stylist that would do just what we asked. My social worker informed me that it may not be a good idea as you can't do any major changes as a foster parent without permission. She really didn't want a major change, so he said to check with her social worker. I did, and she said that it had just been approved for her to get it cut, and that it would be a great idea! So, I asked Janice if she wanted to get her hair done and she said yes (it had been quite awhile and I was happy to take her)! So, we looked online together for a picture and finally found something that looked good. Ashley and I took her to our stylist and she seemed pretty nervous. I assured her that this lady does a great job and wouldn't take too much off! I had called her earlier in the week to make sure she knew what was going on and told her just to have fun with Janice! She did amazing!!! She was funny and sweet and made Janice feel less nervous. The picture we took had a girl with straight hair on it, but after she dried Janice's hair she began putting these beautiful curls in her hair! I was concerned that Janice may not like it, but the smile when she saw herself proved otherwise! She felt very pretty, and she was!!! Scott had me send him a picture when she was done, and he loved it!
We then went by the yogurt store next door and got yogurt together - her favorite was chocolate! On our way home, I asked if she had ever been to church with her other foster families. She said that she had with one of them and she thought it was called something Temple. I mentioned Calvary Temple and she said she thought that was right. Ashley then proceeded to ask her if they told her how to ask Jesus in their heart because they do at our church. At first, she said "what?" and then I think she said yes, but we weren't sure of how much she understood. Loved that Ashley was concerned about her salvation right off! When we got home, the boys thought Janice looked very pretty and said so - it was sweet! Ashley had been dying to have Janice play with her in her room, so Janice went with her and they played horses. Ashley was really enjoying playing pretend, and Janice was kind enough to sit and play with her. After a little bit, I said that we should head downstairs since I had bought what I thought would be a fun craft to do together. It turned out to be quite difficult - friendship bracelets. We tried making them, and Janice's turned out the best, but all of ours were too small. We may try it again later sometime when we are a little less stressed. Things were going well, but there was still a bit of a nervous feel with everyone.
Some really great friends had mentioned that we were welcome to come swim at their home if that worked for us. They have a girl about Janice's age, as well as a younger daughter and older son, so everyone would have a friend. Plus, I knew things would be very comfortable with them and we would feel at home there. They also offered for us to have dinner there if she was doing well and everyone was comfortable - that sounded perfect to me! It would allow me to be more relaxed and spend time with Janice instead of fixing food. I asked her if she'd like to go swimming and she said yes! Then she asked me if the curls would come out of her hair if she went underwater. I sadly said yes, but that I would try to put them back in tomorrow morning. Everyone got their swimsuits on and off we went. I remember she hadn't brought flip flops so she had her swimsuit on with ankle socks and tennis shoes. I asked her if she wanted to borrow some of mine, and she was happy to do so :).
When we got to the house around 3pm, everyone was so kind and relaxed and just treated her like a new friend. The kids got in the pool and something amazing happened! I saw all the nervousness disappear! She had asked me if I was going to swim earlier and I said maybe. I could tell she wanted me to, so after talking a bit with the family, I got in the pool with everyone along with the other parents! We played Marco Polo and just had fun doing swimming races, and doing a fun trick where you pull each other through the water. The kids were having fun on the diving board too! Once as Janice was getting on the diving board, she slipped off and her knee hit the concrete. There was quite a big scrape and it started to bleed pretty hard. She was very brave and strong about it and said she was fine until the blood began to come down her leg. We all felt awful! She came over and sat down while all the adults gathered to help her get fixed up. She started getting a little quiet as it began to hurt worse. All the kids got out and we decided to play a game of Apples to Apples kid version. The blood went through a couple of large bandaids, so we changed them. She was quite a trooper and tried to be ok, and we all felt so sad that it happened! We had a great time playing the game though, and soon all of us were talking about how hungry we were getting (especially since the cards kept mentioning food). So they asked if we wanted to stay and have pizza, and we said yes. They also had some chips and salad and the kids were all happy eating together outside.
Then they all got back in the pool and had a blast again! Janice hung with the younger girls for quite awhile and played pretend tigers with them - it was so sweet! She was the mama tiger :). At one point, she had one of them on each hip! They had a little ice cream snack on the side of the pool, swam a bit longer, and then we decided to head home. We knew Scott would be home soon :)!!!
Everyone got in their jammies and wanted to watch a movie - her pick. She picked "Despicable Me." That was pretty amazing since the story line of that is about three girls getting adopted! We made pop corn and enjoyed the movie together. Then it was time for bed, so we headed up. We had been memorizing a Proverb with our kids at night, but I thought it would be better to do a small devotion tonight. I checked in a kids devotional we have to see if there was one on Psalms 91, partly because of how much it meant to me and partly because I thought she might be afraid to be sleeping at a new home. There was one, so we read a portion of the chapter and talked about how God loves us and wants to hold us, comfort us, and protect us with his feathers and wings. She seemed to enjoy it and then we prayed together, thanking God that Janice was with us.
Everyone went to bed and Janice picked the top bunk! I knew she would want to sleep with Bogey, and Alec had told her that Bogey can't get down from there, so that would be good. It was a great plan! After everyone was tucked in and I was sure she was doing ok, I decided to stay up awhile to be sure she got to sleep alright. I finished up some laundry and checked emails and things. While I was downstairs, I heard the girls talking and a big burst of laughter - it made my heart smile! I later found out they were telling jokes - how fun! I probably checked on her like 4 or 5 times and wished I could see her better, but I didn't want to climb the ladder to look :). So, I finally headed to bed. I can't say that I slept well, as I kept waking up hoping she was ok. I decided to get up really early the next morning to get my shower ahead and to be sure I had time to help her get ready and spend some time with her.
The girls got up early and were watching TV, so I just got ready and enjoyed a nice morning talking with God and spending time in His Word. I so desperately needed it! I asked Janice if she slept well and she said yes, until Bogey started whining some to get down this morning. When I went in their room, Bogey was still on the top bunk by himself because he doesn't trust kids to get him off of high places. I got ready pretty ahead of schedule and told the girls to come on up. She had a cute little sundress out and I asked her if it needed ironed and she said yes. So, I ironed it for her and then asked if the girls would like their nails painted. They both said yes, so we picked our colors and they wanted every other toe and fingernail different colors - it was fun! I also wanted to check on her knee and get it cleaned up. I put some peroxide on it and blew, and then added neo-sporin and gave her a new band aid. Again, she was brave. She also had some scrapes on her leg from another time earlier that week in a friend's pool, and the foster mom had asked that I keep neo-sporin on that as well. I was amazed at how I loved taking care of her . . . sometimes when it's other people's kids, I don't do so well with the germ thing and stuff like this, but I had no issues! She was already becoming our child in my heart!
Then I asked her if she wanted to get her hair curled, and off we went into my bathroom! Time doing a girls hair is always time well spent! We talked openly and enjoyed the time! I knew she had a good friend that she hung out with and asked what his name was. She said "Gabriel," and I said oh, like the angel that told Mary she would birth Jesus. She said she thought that was James, and I told her the story. She asked me if I thought anyone had ever seen Jesus. I told her how they did when He was on earth, but then he died on the cross for our sins and rose again. At that point, she said "oh, after He was in the big boulder." Clearly, she had seen some pictures or heard the story. I then told her that people saw him for 40 days after that, but then He went to heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. I told her that while I can't see Jesus with my eyes, I know He lives! I could not believe we were having a conversation about the Trinity on our first visit, and so naturally and easily. We were having a great time and she was totally comfortable! She asked how long church would be and I told her about an hour and half. She seemed ok with it.
We did our normal Sunday routine and stopped to get doughnuts on the way to church (yum, Valley doughnuts is the best)! I was planning to get there a little late so she didn't have to meet people, but somehow we still got their early. I figured that was good since Scott was opening with a song, and I really wanted her to hear him. As we arrived, we saw two friends, both of whom have adopted and have been so supportive of us! Later, as I talked to Sarah Boone, she said that she was so excited and happy, that she almost burst into tears! It was so cool because I hardly saw anyone else! It was as if God orchestrated the whole thing. I had sent out an email asking that people not come up to meet her or say anything about adoption as I knew people would be so excited and may not realize that it would be too much this weekend. I also mentioned to Mark B. that we would be coming by Club 56 for her to see it, but to try not to notice her too much :). He was so kind and understanding and prayed with me for our weekend - what a blessing! Everyone was so thoughtful and some seemed to try to move away when we did try to introduce her. She actually seemed to enjoy meeting people a little! At first, she stayed very close to my side, especially as we entered the side door and she saw how big the worship center was! She was like, "wow!" But as we walked through the hallway close to Scott's office to go into the main service, Scott's voice came on the speakers in the hall and I said that's Scott. She started waving her hand for us to hurry and started running toward the door. Austin and I tried to catch up and I felt so happy! We sat mid-way back in my normal section, and she loved it! She was totally into it, singing and clapping, and even "wohood" after one of the songs! It was absolutely incredible!! I was a little nervous about communion being offered her first Sunday, and considered taking her out to see Scott's office during it, but as Bobby began to talk about it, I felt a peace. I explained that this was mainly for the members of the church and told her she could let it pass by. She seemed fine with that and continued to enjoy the worship!
After the music was over, we went out and saw the worship team in the hall. She seemed really excited to meet them, and Scott took us to see his office. He has this huge world map on the wall, and we found Saipan - it was fun! She says she really likes it here in California better, but we love to see her heritage and care about it. We then all walked out and saw the Venue and then walked over to Club 56 and sat in the back. Quite a few of the kids stared back at us, but she seemed comfortable with us! Mark B. did an amazing job explaining the prodigal son and kept our attention so well! He made me laugh really hard as well, and Janice did too! We left a little early and went back to main service to hear Scott end with "The Lord's Prayer." Then we headed out to get Ashley from class and met a few close friends along the way. She seemed to really enjoy the whole morning and felt really comfortable! I was so happy!
We decided we'd hit In-N-Out for lunch, and I wanted her to meet another girl her age whose family are close friends of ours. I asked her mom if she could join us for lunch, and they loved the idea! She came with us in the van and we all went to lunch together. They seemed to hit it off pretty good, and Janice seemed so comfortable! We saw quite a few friends at In-N-Out from church, and one of them even gave us their table as they were leaving!
We dropped our friend off and met the rest of their family. He happened to be a nurse practitioner so I had him take a quick look at her knee. He said it just took a layer of skin off and would be fine. While we were there, the girls went up to see her room, which happened to be a pretty blue! Janice loved it! We saw some horses close by and went to look at them quickly. Then we headed home. The kids wanted to get on the trampoline with the sprinkler, but we had to head back. She had said she wanted to see a couple of movies that were out during our previous family visit, so we had her pick one. She picked "Kung Fu Panda II," so we headed out to see that on the way home. This too was a movie all about adoption - incredible!!! There were parts of it that I felt for her watching, but she loved the movie. One of the things it emphasizes is that it's not how you start that matters in life, but what you become.
We had eaten lots of popcorn, but still felt like we should feed her some type of dinner before getting her home. Plus, we weren't ready to drop her off yet! We went by Old Navy and shopped a little bit first, and ended up getting her a pair of sunglasses that Alec picked out for her. I was loving it! We then headed back and stopped at a Burger King (her favorite fast food restaurant) and kinda shared some meals. At some point during this time, Ashley had said something about having a new sister and Janice was interested and asked her more, but she caught my eye and was quiet. All the kids wanted to sit by her, and we said she was pretty popular in our family!
We then took her home and said we would be seeing her at the 4th of July parade the next day. Again, we walked her to the door and gave hugs. This time, we were all a lot more comfortable! We headed home, hearts full and emotions in full bloom. As we left, the pregnancy analogy came back. I felt like I had a baby, but had to go home without her. But the good news was that we would be heading back early the next morning!
Friday, July 8, 2011
WE GET TO HAVE HER FOR THE WEEKEND!!! . . . June 28, 2011
As we awoke the next morning, we figured we would have to wait quite awhile to hear back from her social worker and tried not to get our hopes up! I decided that complete exhaustion had hit me on the way home the night before and was still with me! I guess getting ready for the evening, thinking, dreaming, and praying about it, and then actually doing it was wonderful yet overwhelming! I slept really good and woke up feeling a little more rested, but still emotionally drained. I wondered how Janice must be feeling, and felt for her. This was so much to experience for us, but even more so for her. We have a family to talk to and do life with, and then we have great friends that care for us, but she doesn't have that same support system. So, I asked God to give me strength for today, and to give Janice strength as well!
About mid-morning, our social worker called us with some great news!!! He said that while Janice was nervous for us to come, she was excited when she got back home. She enjoyed her time with us and wondered when she could see us again! YAY! We had hoped that we could pick her up and have her for the weekend and we got our wish! While we wouldn't be getting her quite as long as we hoped (due to her being at day camp and having an appointment on Friday evening), we would get to have her with us for Saturday and Sunday!!! WE WERE THRILLED! We were excited to get to know each other better, let her see how we do life, and just be with her! While we were driving that day, Austin said that this was a lot like us getting a sonogram! I was impressed that he understood the pregnancy analogy! It did seem that way to me . . . we were definitely showing and feeling very pregnant, and now we would get to see some really important stuff, like what we all thought of each other over the weekend! I remember thinking how much I really wanted to see her smile. I had seen it quite a few times when we were together, and it truly made me feel so happy and complete! Now would come the fun part, trying to plan out the weekend (doing our normal family stuff, but also making her feel as comfortable as possible and making it fun)! We were on cloud nine for sure!
About mid-morning, our social worker called us with some great news!!! He said that while Janice was nervous for us to come, she was excited when she got back home. She enjoyed her time with us and wondered when she could see us again! YAY! We had hoped that we could pick her up and have her for the weekend and we got our wish! While we wouldn't be getting her quite as long as we hoped (due to her being at day camp and having an appointment on Friday evening), we would get to have her with us for Saturday and Sunday!!! WE WERE THRILLED! We were excited to get to know each other better, let her see how we do life, and just be with her! While we were driving that day, Austin said that this was a lot like us getting a sonogram! I was impressed that he understood the pregnancy analogy! It did seem that way to me . . . we were definitely showing and feeling very pregnant, and now we would get to see some really important stuff, like what we all thought of each other over the weekend! I remember thinking how much I really wanted to see her smile. I had seen it quite a few times when we were together, and it truly made me feel so happy and complete! Now would come the fun part, trying to plan out the weekend (doing our normal family stuff, but also making her feel as comfortable as possible and making it fun)! We were on cloud nine for sure!
Our First Family Night . . . June 27, 2011
I really wasn't sure what we should do for our "first family night" other than possibly go to a park and play basketball since she said that was her favorite sport. But, of course, Scott had a great idea to take her to P.F. Chang's, which I loved (we could introduce her to our family with class and in our true colors)! Later, he said that maybe we should just check with her and see what she wanted. That weekend, I talked with her foster mom who said that she was hoping we would take her to P.F. Chang's and would love to play basketball at a park nearby! Great minds think alike :)!
On the way, we realized that we had forgotten our basketball! Since we had planned for traffic, we arrived early enough to go by Big 5 and pick one up. We arrived at her foster home at 5:30pm as scheduled. We were amazed that once again, on our third time to this area involving an hour and 1/2 drive, we hit no traffic, and that at rush hour!
We were all a bit nervous, and the kids were excited. We walked up to her door, and Janice answered. She too looked nervous and was a little quieter at first, but very sweet. Considering all that was taking place, she was doing great! On this visit, we didn't have our social workers with us, and it was her first time meeting our kids. Plus, she was a little tired from having been at day camp all day. We introduced everyone and asked if she could show us around her home so the kids could see all the animals. They loved the parrot cage outside and the birds in the kitchen! After the tour, we all got in the van together and headed to P.F. Chang's. It felt so good just having her in our van, and having her walk with us outside. Although we had made reservations, we had to wait about 10 minutes because we arrived a bit early and really wanted a booth. It kinda seemed like an eternity. For some reason, I couldn't think of anything to talk about! I think I had asked her every question in the book on our last visit. We had already asked about her day at camp. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind. As we waited, she seemed happy to stand close to me and it didn't seem awkward if our arms touched. Finally, our table was available and we sat down.
Since she just turned 11 a couple weeks prior, we decided to bring her a couple of presents and celebrate with her. While we waited for her food, we had her open the presents. We brought her a couple little orca whales, since she said they were her favorite animals. One of them was squishy and she seemed to like it the most. We also brought her a horse poster that you could paint by number. Her foster mom's oldest daughter is a great artist, and we knew Janice enjoyed crafts as well as horses since she was involved in a horse therapy program. One of the things we really wanted to take her was an MP3 player with some songs that Scott had recorded, as well as some songs that each of us enjoyed. We wanted her to hear some of the music we always listen to so that she might know a few of them before we spent lots of time in the van listening to them. My favorite was "This Little Light of Mine" by Addison Road and the kids picked some TobyMac and other upbeat songs. We mentioned that we were looking for one on facebook, and a friend said they had an extra ipod shuffle! So, we took that along with with earphones and gave it to her. She thanked us and said she had 2 other ones! I couldn't believe it! I told her we put some music on there for her and that some of them were Scott singing. I hoped she would enjoy it even though it was probably pretty different music from what she was used to. As we continued to wait for the food, I got my iphone out so they could play a little bit to make things easier.
The food finally came and with it a new server who was a nice Asian lady, since the other server was taking a break. When she brought out our big plates for dinner, she said "big plates for a big family!" Austin later told me that Janice made a funny face at that remark, possibly feeling kinda strange by it. But for me, I thought she was prophesying right there in front of us!! Then we went to pray before the meal, and I could tell she was not sure what to do. She looked over at us kinda unknowing, but was very sweet and waited for us to finish. We wondered if she had ever prayed before her meal before? Scott and I were still on the Daniel Fast, so we had some brown rice and sauteed veggies. The kids had our normal favorites and Janice enjoyed it! She ate well, which made me feel good. The time was getting late, so we didn't order dessert. All the girls went to the restroom together, and she seemed much more comfortable at this point.
We left the restaurant, and I remember Ashley saying something about getting a new sister, but we just kinda kept moving and hoped she would not continue talking about it. We headed to a park near her foster home and decided to play "horse" together. It had taken longer than we thought to eat and as soon as we were finishing the game, it was already about 8pm, which was the time we said we would bring her home. I said we should probably get back, but Janice thought it might be ok if we stayed a little longer! So, I called her foster mom to see if that would be ok, and she said it was fine if Janice was up to it and that it was our call. So, of course, we decided to stay longer! We went up to the park area, and the kids enjoyed swinging and seeing how far they could jump from the swing (this made me a little nervous as I really didn't want anyone getting hurt on our first visit)! Then we played tag in the big grassy area nearby (the kids played longer than I did)! We took some pictures of the kids together on the grass since I really wanted to remember this night! It had been about 20 minutes, and I thought maybe we should go, but she said she was really having fun and asked if we could stay a little longer . . . so we did! We were thrilled she wanted to be with us longer! After about 10 more minutes, we headed back to her home. On our way home, we talked about our upcoming vacation to Half Moon Bay, and she asked when we were going (as if she might be interested!). When we got to her home, we walked her to the door. Scott, myself, and Ashley gave her a hug and the boys said "bye." She would be going back to day camp the next day, so we hoped she would get a good nights sleep!
On the way home, Scott and I both realized that we already missed her! The kids all said that she was great and they would like to have her in our family! I asked if they had any concerns, and they had none. We arrived home around 10:15pm, and everyone was pretty tired. I actually felt extremely emotionally wiped, but was excited to see what the next step would be. We knew that Janice's social worker would talk with her to see how she was doing with us, and then we would set up our next time to meet. We were really hoping to have her for the upcoming weekend, and really hoped she liked our family! It was a great "first family night!" Prayers were being answered!
On the way, we realized that we had forgotten our basketball! Since we had planned for traffic, we arrived early enough to go by Big 5 and pick one up. We arrived at her foster home at 5:30pm as scheduled. We were amazed that once again, on our third time to this area involving an hour and 1/2 drive, we hit no traffic, and that at rush hour!
We were all a bit nervous, and the kids were excited. We walked up to her door, and Janice answered. She too looked nervous and was a little quieter at first, but very sweet. Considering all that was taking place, she was doing great! On this visit, we didn't have our social workers with us, and it was her first time meeting our kids. Plus, she was a little tired from having been at day camp all day. We introduced everyone and asked if she could show us around her home so the kids could see all the animals. They loved the parrot cage outside and the birds in the kitchen! After the tour, we all got in the van together and headed to P.F. Chang's. It felt so good just having her in our van, and having her walk with us outside. Although we had made reservations, we had to wait about 10 minutes because we arrived a bit early and really wanted a booth. It kinda seemed like an eternity. For some reason, I couldn't think of anything to talk about! I think I had asked her every question in the book on our last visit. We had already asked about her day at camp. Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind. As we waited, she seemed happy to stand close to me and it didn't seem awkward if our arms touched. Finally, our table was available and we sat down.
Since she just turned 11 a couple weeks prior, we decided to bring her a couple of presents and celebrate with her. While we waited for her food, we had her open the presents. We brought her a couple little orca whales, since she said they were her favorite animals. One of them was squishy and she seemed to like it the most. We also brought her a horse poster that you could paint by number. Her foster mom's oldest daughter is a great artist, and we knew Janice enjoyed crafts as well as horses since she was involved in a horse therapy program. One of the things we really wanted to take her was an MP3 player with some songs that Scott had recorded, as well as some songs that each of us enjoyed. We wanted her to hear some of the music we always listen to so that she might know a few of them before we spent lots of time in the van listening to them. My favorite was "This Little Light of Mine" by Addison Road and the kids picked some TobyMac and other upbeat songs. We mentioned that we were looking for one on facebook, and a friend said they had an extra ipod shuffle! So, we took that along with with earphones and gave it to her. She thanked us and said she had 2 other ones! I couldn't believe it! I told her we put some music on there for her and that some of them were Scott singing. I hoped she would enjoy it even though it was probably pretty different music from what she was used to. As we continued to wait for the food, I got my iphone out so they could play a little bit to make things easier.
The food finally came and with it a new server who was a nice Asian lady, since the other server was taking a break. When she brought out our big plates for dinner, she said "big plates for a big family!" Austin later told me that Janice made a funny face at that remark, possibly feeling kinda strange by it. But for me, I thought she was prophesying right there in front of us!! Then we went to pray before the meal, and I could tell she was not sure what to do. She looked over at us kinda unknowing, but was very sweet and waited for us to finish. We wondered if she had ever prayed before her meal before? Scott and I were still on the Daniel Fast, so we had some brown rice and sauteed veggies. The kids had our normal favorites and Janice enjoyed it! She ate well, which made me feel good. The time was getting late, so we didn't order dessert. All the girls went to the restroom together, and she seemed much more comfortable at this point.
We left the restaurant, and I remember Ashley saying something about getting a new sister, but we just kinda kept moving and hoped she would not continue talking about it. We headed to a park near her foster home and decided to play "horse" together. It had taken longer than we thought to eat and as soon as we were finishing the game, it was already about 8pm, which was the time we said we would bring her home. I said we should probably get back, but Janice thought it might be ok if we stayed a little longer! So, I called her foster mom to see if that would be ok, and she said it was fine if Janice was up to it and that it was our call. So, of course, we decided to stay longer! We went up to the park area, and the kids enjoyed swinging and seeing how far they could jump from the swing (this made me a little nervous as I really didn't want anyone getting hurt on our first visit)! Then we played tag in the big grassy area nearby (the kids played longer than I did)! We took some pictures of the kids together on the grass since I really wanted to remember this night! It had been about 20 minutes, and I thought maybe we should go, but she said she was really having fun and asked if we could stay a little longer . . . so we did! We were thrilled she wanted to be with us longer! After about 10 more minutes, we headed back to her home. On our way home, we talked about our upcoming vacation to Half Moon Bay, and she asked when we were going (as if she might be interested!). When we got to her home, we walked her to the door. Scott, myself, and Ashley gave her a hug and the boys said "bye." She would be going back to day camp the next day, so we hoped she would get a good nights sleep!
On the way home, Scott and I both realized that we already missed her! The kids all said that she was great and they would like to have her in our family! I asked if they had any concerns, and they had none. We arrived home around 10:15pm, and everyone was pretty tired. I actually felt extremely emotionally wiped, but was excited to see what the next step would be. We knew that Janice's social worker would talk with her to see how she was doing with us, and then we would set up our next time to meet. We were really hoping to have her for the upcoming weekend, and really hoped she liked our family! It was a great "first family night!" Prayers were being answered!
Dating & Waiting . . . June 2011
While we were super excited that things went so well the day we met her, we wondered how she felt about us! I had referred to this process as a type of "pregnancy" up until this point, but now was feeling more like it was a dating relationship! Because of her age, there was a need for her to like us as well! While the ultimate decisions would be made by the social workers involved, we all knew it was in all of our best interests if she liked us and wanted to be with us. At this point, she knew that her social worker was looking for a family to adopt her, but we had not been named as that family as of yet. Her social worker wanted to allow things to move slowly and in order.
On Friday morning, we got the call - SHE LIKES US!!! We were so happy! We then knew the next step was to have her meet our family and see how the kids did together! This would be another very nervous and awkward time, but it needed to happen! It was important to us that she and Ashley would get along, as Ashley so wanted a sister! We set up the meeting for Monday, June 27th at 5:30pm. We would take her out to dinner and then to the park to play basketball. She was in a day camp during the day, and this worked out great with our schedule. The kids were so ready to meet her and we really wanted to see how they interacted!
Alec was so thrilled, and knew how excited Ashley would be, that he decided to make her a treasure hunt around our home. He took sticky notes and had her hunt for the treasure, which ended up being a pink heart that said, "We get to meet Janice on Monday!" Ashley loved it and was thrilled! I realized that because of Janice's age, this was also a little more exciting for Alec!
Over the weekend, we began trying to explain to the kids that we wouldn't actually talk about adoption when we met Janice, but just try to get to know her and treat her like a new friend. This was going to be a difficult task, especially for Ashley as an 8 year old that has been talking about adoption for 5-6 months already! We had been praying about it for that long as well, and it was on our minds continually. We asked for lots of prayer for the meeting, and so many sent encouraging notes and prayers for us - it was incredible and we felt so lifted up the whole weekend!
On Friday morning, we got the call - SHE LIKES US!!! We were so happy! We then knew the next step was to have her meet our family and see how the kids did together! This would be another very nervous and awkward time, but it needed to happen! It was important to us that she and Ashley would get along, as Ashley so wanted a sister! We set up the meeting for Monday, June 27th at 5:30pm. We would take her out to dinner and then to the park to play basketball. She was in a day camp during the day, and this worked out great with our schedule. The kids were so ready to meet her and we really wanted to see how they interacted!
Alec was so thrilled, and knew how excited Ashley would be, that he decided to make her a treasure hunt around our home. He took sticky notes and had her hunt for the treasure, which ended up being a pink heart that said, "We get to meet Janice on Monday!" Ashley loved it and was thrilled! I realized that because of Janice's age, this was also a little more exciting for Alec!
Over the weekend, we began trying to explain to the kids that we wouldn't actually talk about adoption when we met Janice, but just try to get to know her and treat her like a new friend. This was going to be a difficult task, especially for Ashley as an 8 year old that has been talking about adoption for 5-6 months already! We had been praying about it for that long as well, and it was on our minds continually. We asked for lots of prayer for the meeting, and so many sent encouraging notes and prayers for us - it was incredible and we felt so lifted up the whole weekend!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)