Well, it's officially summer at our home and that is a great thing! It means a break from the school schedule, no homework that has to be done tomorrow, and more time for our kids to "be kids" together!
I am so thankful for all of that! I am seeing all four of my kids really bond and am realizing that this is a special time. Last year when she joined our family, we only had a couple of weeks of vacation together, a week to get ready for school, and life began for Aleeya in the Butler household with school in full swing. It was a whirlwind. But, as summer begins, I see the kids playing games together and laughing, or Aleeya and Ashley going outside in their bathing suits to enjoy the sprinkler and play nerf softball, and I realize how amazing this time is . . how desperately it's needed!
The last three months have been full to say the least. School work had really gotten tough, and we were struggling last time I blogged. I wasn't sure what to do or how to help. I considered home schooling her for awhile to see where the problem was and try to get her back on track, but was concerned about how that would affect her daily routine and friendships. We prayed about it for awhile. Then a friend of mine mentioned that it may be a good idea to let her know that if she continues to struggle that we may need to get some tutoring for her this summer to help her (which was a very real need at that point), and that may end up happening while the rest of the family was swimming and doing other fun things. So, since I really believed she had given up a little and wasn't trying, I figured it was worth a try. We talked. She agreed with me that she wasn't really trying and understood that if we didn't see improvements, her summer may not be as fun as we both wanted it to be. IT WAS AMAZING! That week we saw immediate improvement and she continued to do better for the final two months of school! She ended up getting on the honor roll because of a couple of major projects at the end, and we were so proud of her! She was pretty proud of herself too! Those last few weeks of school, she asked me if I thought she would need to get tutoring this summer. I was amazed that it had stuck with her, and told her that she was doing so well and I saw no need. While all the kids will do some small review of things they need to work on this summer, it would be fun stuff on the iPad or fun workbooks with lots of swimming and summer fun mixed in! Really thankful for a good ending in that area.
I have realized quite a few things over the last six months or so and find myself understanding our "new life" with a new child more and more.
We've worked on some issues with her and Ashley, and they are becoming great friends and sisters with better expectations of each other.
I'm realizing some areas where she has struggled in the past, and trying to learn to understand it and help her more.
I feel less guilty when I'm not a perfect mom, and try to do my best realizing that God will take it and make it beautiful somehow.
I ask for His help more and more! As I updated my prayer journal, I had a better list of what to pray specifically for her life because now I know her so much better!
She's doing tons better with the issue of lying, and I've been so proud of her for coming back and telling me the truth after she's messed up! She has really asked God to help her with that, and He is!
I've learned that I am a little overprotective of her and really watch her relationships and how they affect her. I'm much like a mom of a first-born or a mom of a newborn, and so want the best for her!
One of the biggest things I've learned is that we tend to go through times of being close and then times of disconnect and that is ok. I just have to push through it. It hit me that she may struggle to fully attach to me at times, and that's ok.
I've noticed that sometimes she's really quiet and that's ok - it's actually something Austin had hoped before adopting another girl :)! We've got a girl that loves to talk, and they fit well together!
I realized that it's summer, and she's moved quite a few times in the summer so this is a really good time to remind her we are keeping her forever!
Last week I asked her how it's been for her living with us for almost a year now? She said it's been really good and a lot different. I asked what she meant. She said this has been her best year because she knows Jesus, and it's helped so much. I was like "wow, can't get a better answer than that!" I told her it's also different because now she's with a family that will be her forever family . . she smiled and agreed.
It continues to be great seeing how she relates to all of us. She loves when Dad is home, and he loves her so amazingly! He's her protector and has lots of fun making her smile! She sees me differently. She tells me lots of things, loves to shop with me, knows I will tell her the truth about real life, and knows that while I will have to get on her at times, I love her like crazy!
Today, she turned 12 and we got to celebrate! Last week we had her party with two of her girlfriends. They swam, played with water balloons, decorated strawberries with chocolate and ate them (of course), played a fun family game of softball with a nerf ball and bat, watched a movie, had a sleep over, did their nails, and played some UNO Attack and volleyball. It was the first time she's had a sleep over, and she loved it! The girls were so much fun! I realized it was my first "older girl" party, and they are super fun! Today was her official birthday, so she got to pick what to eat so we went out for lunch and had her favorite "chicken fried rice" for dinner. We went to Justice to spend a gift card she had received, and she loved it (definitely a happy shopper)! Then some friends came over to her surprise, and we walked to Cold Stone for a birthday treat! She was really thankful and I could tell she felt loved! I can't believe how quickly she is growing up!
We are getting close to that point where she's been with us a whole year and I can't wait! She will have memories with us from last year and know more of what to expect! We are really praying for her finalization to take place soon! It's getting harder to wait, and we are so hoping for the phone call that lets us know the last appeal is denied and we're moving forward! Please pray with us for this - it will mean so much for her, so much to us! She will officially be Aleeya Joy Butler, and I really believe it will bring her great security and peace. This is our prayer!
One last note . . Ashley picked out a really perfect birthday card for Aleeya and the girls on the branch of the tree actually look like the two of them. The words were so special, so I posted it on the side. May want to take a look :). The words are kinda small, but they read:
"Every girl
should be
lucky enough
to have a friend
she loves like a sister,
but I got even luckier . . .
I have a sister
I love like a friend."
