Well, since we signed adoptive placement papers on July 10, we have been waiting for one paper called a remittitur (at least I think that's what it's called) in order to get our court date scheduled. We were told we should have it by August 21st or within that week no problem. So, we waited and waited.
During all of this, we were scheduling a time for my parents to come out for the finalization since Aleeya had asked if they could. She had only met them a couple of times the year before when they came out to California from Florida, but we thought it was pretty special that she asked for them. My parents said sure they would love to come, and we began the process of getting them out with some airline miles. That meant we had to plan a couple of weeks out to avoid fees. Everyone said that it should be no problem to get a court date within 2-3 weeks of when we got the remittitur, so we tried to play it safe and scheduled them to fly out September 11th (which was pretty brave of them I thought - that date holds so many memories). Then the paper wasn't coming, but everyone still felt like it shouldn't be a problem. My parents could only stay about a week because of some missions work they had planned, but we waited to plan their return flight in case they just needed to be here one extra day. So, basically, a lot was riding on our court date and we were in waiting mode.
On August 27th, our adoption agency moved forward with getting a court date since everything looked good with the paper coming and they went to the court house on August 27th to schedule our finalization day. I was so excited . . until I got the call. They were very surprised to find out that all the court dates were taken through the end of September. There were a couple of dates that last week, but Aleeya would be at science camp. This meant having to tell Aleeya that we would have to wait yet another two or three weeks longer than expected and having to let her and my parents know that they wouldn't be there for it. And we were just so ready, so planning on it being in September, and it was so hard to hear. I got the call while I was at work. Did I mention I went back to work this year? I started working at the kids school 2 days a week as a "Special Projects Assistant" (basically helping out with extras at the elementary and high school), and I love it! It's fun being there, working with some great people, seeing the kids, and making a little extra to help our family. Anyhow, when I got the call it was early in the morning, and I was so wanting to cry and scream all at once, but I was at work and still kinda new there too! It was like telling a 9 month pregnant woman that was really close to her due date that she just needed to wait a few more weeks past the date - no problem, right! I couldn't see how this was in God's plan and why we would have to wait any longer! It seems there were more adoptions finalizing than usual, which was a good thing, right?!
So they worked on getting us a good date in October. Scott was supposed to be gone the first week of October to an awesome retreat called "the Journey." So, I figured that was still on and we'd have to wait for the second week of October. But Scott said he would cancel his trip for this, no problem, and asked that it be scheduled on Thursday, October 4th. Now, this was a bit shocking to me because this is his birthday! And if you know him, you know that he loves his birthday (kinda like a little kid that gets excited months before, lets everyone know what he might like to get, and wants the celebration to last as long as possible)! So, after texting him like 3 or 4 times to be sure he wanted this date and reminding him that we would be celebrating both every year from now on, he came over to see me to say that he really wanted to share this date with her and was excited about it! So, October 4th it was! Later, I realized how awesome my husband is, and how cool this was that she would share something so special in our family history (if that makes sense). I had read in an adoption book that it's great if you can find traits or special things that link your new child to their new family!
It took me awhile to be excited about it. Aleeya was a little sad that we had to wait, and my parents were too, but both of them were pretty understanding. Everyone else seemed excited we got a date, and didn't seem to understand that it was much further away than it should have been. I was the only one still kicking and screaming. It just didn't seem fair. But I knew I had to accept it and trust God that He knew best. So, we scheduled my parents return flights for September 17th and began talking about how neat it was that finalization day would be on daddy's birthday - this would be something really awesome! I tried to act like it was ok in front of Aleeya, but felt so sad. Yet it was time to begin planning that special day and a party was in order as well; so for that, I was excited! It was at least good to know that we had a date and be settled with that information! Now, to trust God with the end like we had the beginning . . . He who began a good work would complete it . . . in His timing!
The Butler Family
WE ARE FAMILY!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Sickness can be Healthy . . August 21, 2012
I was out picking up one of our kids from an event on Saturday night when I got the call that Aleeya wasn't feeling well. Now, this is a girl that is really healthy and has only dealt with a few allergies or a cold or two since we've had her over a year, so I wasn't sure what this meant. I headed home within the hour and found her with a decent temperature and chills. I felt awful being out while she was feeling so yucky!
I have taken care of my other three kids and their many sickness over the years, but this was my first time getting to take care of Aleeya and it was pretty great to do it! She was funny in some of the things she did - like getting her footed pajamas on and getting under lots of blankets because she had the chills only to have me come in and say to get in a light t-shirt and only have her sheet over her because her temperature would only get hotter with all of that on her! I was able to touch her sweet face quite a bit feeling for her temperature, and came in throughout the night a couple of times to see if the fever came back after giving her Advil.
We stayed home together the next day (Sunday) and she rested and read most of the day. She was kinda quiet and sweet, and I just kept checking on her and giving her water to drink. I could tell that this was a good thing . . . my being able to "mother" her during her sickness. She still had a fever that night, so we kept her home from school the next day. But the fever left over night, and she was totally fine on Monday. So, we spent part of the day doing some errands and just hanging out.
Later, I saw a note in her journal that said that it was really nice to have a Mom to take care of her. While I can't say that I'm glad she got sick, I realized that this sickness was actually somewhat of a good thing!
I have taken care of my other three kids and their many sickness over the years, but this was my first time getting to take care of Aleeya and it was pretty great to do it! She was funny in some of the things she did - like getting her footed pajamas on and getting under lots of blankets because she had the chills only to have me come in and say to get in a light t-shirt and only have her sheet over her because her temperature would only get hotter with all of that on her! I was able to touch her sweet face quite a bit feeling for her temperature, and came in throughout the night a couple of times to see if the fever came back after giving her Advil.
We stayed home together the next day (Sunday) and she rested and read most of the day. She was kinda quiet and sweet, and I just kept checking on her and giving her water to drink. I could tell that this was a good thing . . . my being able to "mother" her during her sickness. She still had a fever that night, so we kept her home from school the next day. But the fever left over night, and she was totally fine on Monday. So, we spent part of the day doing some errands and just hanging out.
Later, I saw a note in her journal that said that it was really nice to have a Mom to take care of her. While I can't say that I'm glad she got sick, I realized that this sickness was actually somewhat of a good thing!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Warfare, It's Really Happening . . . August 18, 2012
I'm not at all sure how to explain all of this, but this idea of spiritual warfare has come up multiple times over the past few months. And what I mean by warfare is the war that is being raged against those that are seeking to follow God, versus the devil and his demons trying to dissuade us from following. Now, I know and believe that our God is "greater than he that is in the world," and He has all power and knows all that is happening. Yet, I need to be aware of the war that is taking place around me to try to destroy our faith, our family, and our future.
I've known the Scriptures from a child, and have known that the "devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (I Peter 5:8), but sometimes life can be going along well and you don't really notice the affects of it. Well, since we have been in motion to adopt, I have known that we are under attack. I have learned that Satan doesn't like "when we protect and welcome children, because we are announcing something about Jesus and His kingdom." Satan has always been about the business of killing children (the baby Israelites during Moses' day, killing children under 2 when Jesus was born, and in our current world, abortion), and he very much dislikes "new beginnings and new life." I have learned that "the Father is fighting for orphans, making them sons and daughters, and we should do the same." As we have gone forward with adopting, we have faced more struggles, difficulties, and set backs over the past year and a half than we have ever faced before. As well, we have so many friends that are in the process of adoption, or have adopted, that I have seen go through some really hard times! As our family began facing tough stuff and I continued to hear of others really struggling, this idea of warfare came up over and over in my mind. I mentioned it to a couple of friends that are in the same boat of adoption, and they too have felt it. And then, as I began reading a book entitled "Adopted for Life" by Russell D. Moore, I saw it again. Some of his book is quoted or summarized in these paragraphs. I would highly encourage reading it!
So, the reason for this blog is to let you know that God loves the plan of adoption, and that spiritual warfare is taking place as we join in the adoption plan! When I say God loves adoption, it comes in the context that adoption is part of His story of redemption. It is written throughout the pages of the Bible. Galatians 4:4-7 says, "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father.' So you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir." (The cool thing is that these same words will be used in the court room when we finalize our adoption of Aleeya. They bring identity, a sense of belonging! They will let her know that she's our child with a new birth certificate and everything, and that she has every right as an heir.)
You see, I have grown to understand that my God has adopted me, a sinner, once a slave to my birthfather the devil, into His family by way of the cross. He gets adoption!!! He invented it! He has a very mixed family of all backgrounds and colors, and calls us His brothers and sisters because of our adoption. This is incredible! If we really got this, we would be so much better prepared to accept our brothers and sisters in Christ because we are all part of His family! As well, we could accept the family that has so many beautiful colors in their family through adoption. We would not think it odd to add a child of a different race and background to our family. I believe I have taken my adoption into God's family for granted, and always acted like I was a natural heir of God. But Jesus had to go through major pain and suffering on the cross for my sins to allow me a place in His family.
As I have gotten older, I have always believed that there are very strong pictures here on earth of our relationship with God. When I got married, I realized that it was a picture of God and His bride, the Church. I realized the impact of the one flesh union, the covenant relationship. Then when we had children, I was amazed at the picture I saw of God's love for me, His child. When I looked at this little baby in my arms who had so far only caused me discomfort for 9 months and then crucial pain during labor, and yet, I loved him more than life itself, I began to understand a small part of God's love for me, His child. You see, He too suffered for me to be part of His family and loved me more than I could imagine! I began understanding more about the "family of God," as we began interacting as a earthly family and desired to show God to the world through our lives. As well, I can often see His family at work as I attend church or small groups and feel the love of my fellow Christians around me.
I don't think I have even come close to understanding His amazing plan of adoption until recently and still have much to learn, but I am understanding more and more why satan wants to mess this plan up (along with marriages and families). He doesn't like it when we began to care for the needy, the oppressed, the orphans. He doesn't like it when we understand our own orphan status. He said in John 14:18, "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." You see, we are all orphaned by our sin, but God's grace allowed us to be His heirs. I'm really beginning to get my adoption story. My spirit longs and groans for the day when He will come back to take us to our forever home!
When we begin to show this adoption story by living it out, we need to be prepared for warfare. I must say, I was less prepared than I would like to believe, but I am begging God for the strength and power to trust Him, to believe Him, and to have greater faith in Him! And I'm thankful that I know He is with me each step of the way. He is truly a faithful Father!
A friend of mine on Facebook posted this video and it gave me that goosebumps, ready to cry, passionate-inside feeling that made me want to share it with the world. I hope you enjoy it and it helps you understand God's plan of adoption even more. There are some pieces of a Veggie Tale movie (which we have always been fans of and need to purchase this one really soon), so enjoy those scenes. But the lyrics are incredible and the song explains so much about our status as orphans!
I've known the Scriptures from a child, and have known that the "devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (I Peter 5:8), but sometimes life can be going along well and you don't really notice the affects of it. Well, since we have been in motion to adopt, I have known that we are under attack. I have learned that Satan doesn't like "when we protect and welcome children, because we are announcing something about Jesus and His kingdom." Satan has always been about the business of killing children (the baby Israelites during Moses' day, killing children under 2 when Jesus was born, and in our current world, abortion), and he very much dislikes "new beginnings and new life." I have learned that "the Father is fighting for orphans, making them sons and daughters, and we should do the same." As we have gone forward with adopting, we have faced more struggles, difficulties, and set backs over the past year and a half than we have ever faced before. As well, we have so many friends that are in the process of adoption, or have adopted, that I have seen go through some really hard times! As our family began facing tough stuff and I continued to hear of others really struggling, this idea of warfare came up over and over in my mind. I mentioned it to a couple of friends that are in the same boat of adoption, and they too have felt it. And then, as I began reading a book entitled "Adopted for Life" by Russell D. Moore, I saw it again. Some of his book is quoted or summarized in these paragraphs. I would highly encourage reading it!
So, the reason for this blog is to let you know that God loves the plan of adoption, and that spiritual warfare is taking place as we join in the adoption plan! When I say God loves adoption, it comes in the context that adoption is part of His story of redemption. It is written throughout the pages of the Bible. Galatians 4:4-7 says, "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father.' So you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir." (The cool thing is that these same words will be used in the court room when we finalize our adoption of Aleeya. They bring identity, a sense of belonging! They will let her know that she's our child with a new birth certificate and everything, and that she has every right as an heir.)
You see, I have grown to understand that my God has adopted me, a sinner, once a slave to my birthfather the devil, into His family by way of the cross. He gets adoption!!! He invented it! He has a very mixed family of all backgrounds and colors, and calls us His brothers and sisters because of our adoption. This is incredible! If we really got this, we would be so much better prepared to accept our brothers and sisters in Christ because we are all part of His family! As well, we could accept the family that has so many beautiful colors in their family through adoption. We would not think it odd to add a child of a different race and background to our family. I believe I have taken my adoption into God's family for granted, and always acted like I was a natural heir of God. But Jesus had to go through major pain and suffering on the cross for my sins to allow me a place in His family.
As I have gotten older, I have always believed that there are very strong pictures here on earth of our relationship with God. When I got married, I realized that it was a picture of God and His bride, the Church. I realized the impact of the one flesh union, the covenant relationship. Then when we had children, I was amazed at the picture I saw of God's love for me, His child. When I looked at this little baby in my arms who had so far only caused me discomfort for 9 months and then crucial pain during labor, and yet, I loved him more than life itself, I began to understand a small part of God's love for me, His child. You see, He too suffered for me to be part of His family and loved me more than I could imagine! I began understanding more about the "family of God," as we began interacting as a earthly family and desired to show God to the world through our lives. As well, I can often see His family at work as I attend church or small groups and feel the love of my fellow Christians around me.
I don't think I have even come close to understanding His amazing plan of adoption until recently and still have much to learn, but I am understanding more and more why satan wants to mess this plan up (along with marriages and families). He doesn't like it when we began to care for the needy, the oppressed, the orphans. He doesn't like it when we understand our own orphan status. He said in John 14:18, "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." You see, we are all orphaned by our sin, but God's grace allowed us to be His heirs. I'm really beginning to get my adoption story. My spirit longs and groans for the day when He will come back to take us to our forever home!
When we begin to show this adoption story by living it out, we need to be prepared for warfare. I must say, I was less prepared than I would like to believe, but I am begging God for the strength and power to trust Him, to believe Him, and to have greater faith in Him! And I'm thankful that I know He is with me each step of the way. He is truly a faithful Father!
A friend of mine on Facebook posted this video and it gave me that goosebumps, ready to cry, passionate-inside feeling that made me want to share it with the world. I hope you enjoy it and it helps you understand God's plan of adoption even more. There are some pieces of a Veggie Tale movie (which we have always been fans of and need to purchase this one really soon), so enjoy those scenes. But the lyrics are incredible and the song explains so much about our status as orphans!
| www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5zlRABH9wQ |
Monday, September 3, 2012
Happiest Girl Ever . . . August 6, 2012
The week after vacation was a nice and busy time of getting ready for school to begin. We went through all the stuff we already had and checked it with the lists of stuff the school said we needed for each kid. The kids look at this as fun, and I do too, at first! But with three kids making their piles, it gets a little crazy as I try to be sure they are checking stuff off so we know what we still need to buy. Our oldest, Austin is in high school and doesn't get his list until after the first day of school. Last year, I did most of this ahead of time for Aleeya and just did my best guessing which things she would like (colors and styles). This year as she worked through her list, I could see her trying to figure it all out. I realized this was not a "normal" event for her. So, we checked through her list to find she wasn't quite sure what a Composition Notebook and a few other items were. It was a good time to go over the names of all the items she had so when the teacher asked for those things, she would know just what to get out :). After we checked off what we had, I took the kids shopping with me for some of the stuff and then just finished the rest myself. It takes quite a bit of concentration, so I was thankful to have gone late one night to Walmart without the crowds.
We also did haircuts for the kids, and made sure everyone had a nice outfit for the first day of school. For some of them, it was just a newer shirt. With Aleeya at the age of 12, she is very in between on sizes. She's not really in the "girls" section, but not really in the "Juniors" section either. And the styles out there are just tough! So . . . we went shopping and looked and looked! I was just hoping to find one cute shirt for the first day back. We were very happy when we found ONE while shopping the three floors at "Forever 21!" This seems to be my dilemma with shopping as well, so I guess it's just a girl thing :)! At least we had a fun time together shopping!
In the midst of getting ready for school, our social worker came for his last official visit in our home. It was a short visit and one in which he just checked in on us to be sure we didn't have any more questions. It felt really good to know that soon we would be a "normal" family that would function without the monthly visits. We felt blessed to love our social workers and enjoy their visits, but there is something about them coming month after month that reminds us we aren't officially and legally her family. Yet we so are! We also had a fun day during the week where all the kids got to have a "Play Day!" Basically, they all had a friend over or went to a friends and just hung out one afternoon. This was something we hadn't had much time to do this summer with the move and busy times, and everyone really enjoyed it!
We had back-to-school night on the Thursday before school began the following Monday, and she was able to meet her new teachers for 6th grade, see who was in her homeroom, and the most anticipated part . . . get her very own locker! We went up with her to see where her locker was and make sure she knew how to do a combination lock. The first few tries were a little rough, but luckily the girl beside her was struggling too! The boys were great in showing her how it's done (since they have been there and done that), and I just kept showing her and then having her try again. We made sure she got it open 3 times straight before we knew she was good to go! Then I hung out with her and a new friend and her mom for awhile on the playground. I was thankful that this year she could make someone that was new to the school feel welcome (like so many had for her the year before), and begin what seemed to be a special friendship. These girls were busy laughing and having a great time together!
Throughout the week, Aleeya had mentioned how excited she was to go back to school. I just kept looking at her strangely when I'd hear her say it! This is my girl that loves to sleep in and is not at all a morning person. This is my girl that was often working long hours on homework last year. This was my girl that was so nervous about starting at Big Valley in 5th grade and asked tons of questions! Well, this year was different!!! She was so excited to go back and see her friends; she was happy and alert that first early morning; she couldn't wait! Turns out, our girl is quite social and REALLY enjoys seeing her friends!
We got up pretty early the first day so we could take our annual "1st day of school picture" at the school. We like all the kids to be together for it, which means we have to be there by 7:40am since the boys start at 8am a ways away from where we take our picture at the elementary school campus. So, we were up early, went to our favorite doughnut shop to get breakfast, and took our fun first day pics, which includes one with Daddy behind them making a funny face as well as one with all good smiles! Aleeya was full of energy and excitement and even enjoyed meeting another new girl that morning. I later realized that this was her first time going back to the same school since she moved from Saipan when she was 7. This was a big deal in her life to be at the same school, to be secure, and she was so happy!
This was the start to a new year indeed and I was so happy for her as well! I wasn't sure if I was ready to begin it all again, but I prayed that I would be. I prayed for each of them to do their best with their studies, that God would help them to follow Him and His ways, and that He would help them to form some great friendships. I couldn't believe I had a 10th grader, one starting Jr. High (7th grade), a 6th grader, and a 4th grader! But that's exactly what God had me doing, and I knew I would need to lean on Him and ask for lots of wisdom to make this year great!
We also did haircuts for the kids, and made sure everyone had a nice outfit for the first day of school. For some of them, it was just a newer shirt. With Aleeya at the age of 12, she is very in between on sizes. She's not really in the "girls" section, but not really in the "Juniors" section either. And the styles out there are just tough! So . . . we went shopping and looked and looked! I was just hoping to find one cute shirt for the first day back. We were very happy when we found ONE while shopping the three floors at "Forever 21!" This seems to be my dilemma with shopping as well, so I guess it's just a girl thing :)! At least we had a fun time together shopping!
In the midst of getting ready for school, our social worker came for his last official visit in our home. It was a short visit and one in which he just checked in on us to be sure we didn't have any more questions. It felt really good to know that soon we would be a "normal" family that would function without the monthly visits. We felt blessed to love our social workers and enjoy their visits, but there is something about them coming month after month that reminds us we aren't officially and legally her family. Yet we so are! We also had a fun day during the week where all the kids got to have a "Play Day!" Basically, they all had a friend over or went to a friends and just hung out one afternoon. This was something we hadn't had much time to do this summer with the move and busy times, and everyone really enjoyed it!
We had back-to-school night on the Thursday before school began the following Monday, and she was able to meet her new teachers for 6th grade, see who was in her homeroom, and the most anticipated part . . . get her very own locker! We went up with her to see where her locker was and make sure she knew how to do a combination lock. The first few tries were a little rough, but luckily the girl beside her was struggling too! The boys were great in showing her how it's done (since they have been there and done that), and I just kept showing her and then having her try again. We made sure she got it open 3 times straight before we knew she was good to go! Then I hung out with her and a new friend and her mom for awhile on the playground. I was thankful that this year she could make someone that was new to the school feel welcome (like so many had for her the year before), and begin what seemed to be a special friendship. These girls were busy laughing and having a great time together!
Throughout the week, Aleeya had mentioned how excited she was to go back to school. I just kept looking at her strangely when I'd hear her say it! This is my girl that loves to sleep in and is not at all a morning person. This is my girl that was often working long hours on homework last year. This was my girl that was so nervous about starting at Big Valley in 5th grade and asked tons of questions! Well, this year was different!!! She was so excited to go back and see her friends; she was happy and alert that first early morning; she couldn't wait! Turns out, our girl is quite social and REALLY enjoys seeing her friends!
We got up pretty early the first day so we could take our annual "1st day of school picture" at the school. We like all the kids to be together for it, which means we have to be there by 7:40am since the boys start at 8am a ways away from where we take our picture at the elementary school campus. So, we were up early, went to our favorite doughnut shop to get breakfast, and took our fun first day pics, which includes one with Daddy behind them making a funny face as well as one with all good smiles! Aleeya was full of energy and excitement and even enjoyed meeting another new girl that morning. I later realized that this was her first time going back to the same school since she moved from Saipan when she was 7. This was a big deal in her life to be at the same school, to be secure, and she was so happy!
This was the start to a new year indeed and I was so happy for her as well! I wasn't sure if I was ready to begin it all again, but I prayed that I would be. I prayed for each of them to do their best with their studies, that God would help them to follow Him and His ways, and that He would help them to form some great friendships. I couldn't believe I had a 10th grader, one starting Jr. High (7th grade), a 6th grader, and a 4th grader! But that's exactly what God had me doing, and I knew I would need to lean on Him and ask for lots of wisdom to make this year great!
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