Before we ever had our biological children, we visited a couple of countries while Scott sang with a group called "Light" from Liberty University and with a group called "Mission" from World Help. With "Mission," we were able to visit the country of India and were blessed to meet our very first orphan. She was a girl named Jyothe. I remember we grew to love her very quickly and decided to sponsor her through World Help. This was probably the first time our hearts were moved to care for children that weren't officially "ours" by birth.
When we returned from India, we found out that we were pregnant with our first son, Austin. Then 2 1/2 years later we were blessed with our second son, Alec. And three years later, almost to the day, God blessed us with our baby girl, Ashley. During this time, we were so busy with our little family that I don't remember thinking much about adoption. After I had delivered Alec 2 weeks early and then delivered Ashley 4 1/2 weeks early via c-section because she was breach, Scott and I both felt like we were finished having babies! I still remember each birth with extreme detail and loved the process (minus the sickness and nausea, of course), but knew that every good thing has to come to an end at some point.
When Ashley was around three, I remember quite often counting my children (to be sure I had them all), and feeling like I was missing one. They would come down the stairs and I would keep looking for one more. It seemed like a strange thing to me, and I began wondering if God had a future plan for us to have another child. We had made some decisions physically that wouldn't allow us to birth another child physically, but He was working in other ways.
Around this time, I mentioned to Scott a few times that I had an interest in possibly adopting, but he wasn't sensing that God was leading us in that direction. And since we were so busy with the three God had already given us, I didn't often have time to think about it or pursue it.
Then Ashley did the unthinkable and started Kindergarten, leaving me at home by myself. I remember being the most sad when she left the nest, but knew it had to happen and that I could then begin working and helping our family financially. We had been committed to my staying home with our kids until they went to school, and God had been faithful to take care of all our needs. We did have some debt that began to accumulate close to when Ashley went to school, and I felt blessed that God allowed me to be home so long. So, I had been praying that God would open a door wide for me to get a good job, during school ours, making decent money - a pretty big order. He did it!!! My soon-to-be boss was in our supper club at the time and had heard I was looking. His wife kicked him under the table when I mentioned it, and he called me in mid-September saying that there was an opening at . . . Family Connections Christian Adoptions.
I remember being so intrigued with the fact that he worked at an adoption agency and wondered how it all worked! I started at FCCA on September 29, 2008 and worked there until April 29, 2010, about a year and a half. I learned all about the paper work, the children, and the social workers involved. I quite often would say that I wondered if God had this in our future. I felt little tugs here and there, but felt like our finances needed to be in a really good spot before we could consider it (kinda what I thought before we started having our babies, yet God always took care of it!). I prayed hard and worked hard asking God to help us to get rid of our debt. It was a long prayer of faith!
I stopped working at FCCA because a friend of mine was having twin baby girls and needed a "Nanny." I remember feeling so pulled to do this new job, as God had given me a passion to work with babies and new moms! It wouldn't pay near as much, but Scott and I both felt like this was where God was leading. So, in May of 2010, I began my new adventure! It was during this summer that God really began speaking to me! It would be during quiet moments at night most often that the urge would come and I could hear Him asking if I was ready. I began to desire it more and would pray about it often. I asked God to please take away all of our debt, and I would know that He had made it clear that we should adopt. That seemed like such a big doing to me, but I wanted to have strong faith! He had always taken care of us before as we followed Him, and while I knew we weren't perfect in how we spent our money all the time, I knew our hearts were following Him and fully committed to Him. So, I had to trust!
My faith had been growing as I waited on Him, and although I didn't know how He would take care of the debt, I knew He would in His time. I had been praying for years at this point, yet I had more peace about it each day. Then it happened . . in October of 2010, we received a large check due to an inheritance that Scott received from his grandma. She had died years earlier, and most of her estate went to take care of her son. Well, her son had died in January and the estate had been divided among the grandchildren. We didn't know how much was left or what we would be blessed with, but when it came, it took care of everything! God took care of everything!!!
In November, God reminded me of my prayer quite a bit and kept directing me toward adoption! I remember asking the kids what they thought about adopting a girl . . I remember it very clearly as we were at Costco getting gas. Ashley immediately responded with "YES!" Alec said he thought it was a great idea. And Austin was for it, but asked if we could get a "quieter girl." I told him we could pray about it, but that doesn't tend to be a strong point for most girls :)! I told them that God had been speaking to me, but that Daddy and I would have to talk and be sure it was God's plan for our family. So, a little later that month while Scott and I were on a date at Elephant Bar, I told him about all God was doing in my heart! Well, if you know anything about music pastor's in November, Scott reminded me that this was not a great time to bring this up and he really couldn't think about it right then (our Christmas concerts where right around the corner)!!! I agreed and said sorry, just needed to let him know. Also, I decided to be thankful he had never said "no!"
All throughout the month of December, God spoke so clearly to me, and pretty much non-stop! Through my times alone with Him, through songs, through movies, through books I listened to on CD, through seeing other adopted children, I was bombarded consistently with the fact that God had adoption in our future!!! It just would not go away! I'm so thankful that God speaks clearly because it helps when the doubts and difficult times come to know that God began this work, and He will complete it! So, on Christmas evening or the night after (I can't seem to remember), I had just watched "A Meaningful Life" (A Veggie Tale Movie I had gotten for Ashley for Christmas) and once again the adoption plan was put in front of me via DVD. I went up to our bedroom and told Scott that I really needed to tell him what God had been saying to me. I told him how clearly God had told me we were to adopt and how it just wouldn't go away, even when I wanted it to. I basically explained it all and laid it all out, and he listened patiently and quietly. I told him that I would know this wasn't God if He didn't speak to Scott too, but asked him if he would begin seriously praying about it. He said he would.
I really desired to respect my husband and the position God has him in as the head of our home. I did not want to push my desires on him or make him feel wrong if God was showing him something different. I decided to not say anything else about it unless he wanted to talk about it. I so didn't want this to be my decision and knew God would work it out if it was His will. I was asked to come back to FCCA in January to fill in at the front desk. It was a great opportunity, and since I had only planned to be a nanny for 6 months, it was good timing. So, in January, I spent much time praying and did some fasting to really ask God to make it clear. And He made it clear!!!
It was the third week of January, and one morning out of the blue Scott said he wanted to talk to me about adoption. He asked me to meet him at Starbucks later that day, and I said "sure" quite excitedly but still unsure of what he was thinking. When we met up at Starbucks, we sat at a table in Barnes & Noble and he said, "We are supposed to adopt. I've been telling God "no" because of all the normal reasons (financial, loving another child and giving them the needed time, disrupting our relatively easy home, the difficulty of it all)." But he was sure, and he was excited, and it was awesome! Because I love babies, I thought he would think I wanted a baby or young girl, but we both knew that we would find a sister for Ashley and we both said 4-8 sounded like the right age (almost at the same time). Ashley had been asking and praying for a sister for 2-3 years already, and I guess God worked that into the plan :)! As soon as we had talked it through some, I mentioned that I had seen some really pretty white bunk beds at Costco. We knew we would have to sell Ashley's set (which I took great care in picking out and absolutely loved - you know, the dream set), since it was a twin with a trundle and we wouldn't want to pull it out each night as that wouldn't make our new girl feel at home. I asked him if I should go see if they still had them and get one if so. He said "yes," and off I went to shop. They had the bunk beds still, and they were $100 less on rebate than earlier that month (I just happened to notice them by faith earlier in the month)! They only had one dresser left and it was the display one, so we got a discount on it, plus it was already put together (made my man happy)! It all fit in the van, so I took it home and we stored it in my neighbor's garage, not wanting to tell Ashley and have the never ending questions about when she would have them in her room.
We talked to the kids that evening and told them how God was working! They were all so excited! It was neat to see their sweet hearts and desire to do this! And so, the journey began!
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