In May, we were told about a Family Picnic, but were unable to go. This is a time where social workers come with some children that are available to be adopted, and you meet the kids and the social workers and see if any seem like a fit. Scott was in the studio that week recording, and I went to Georgia to see my sister for some special family events. I figured we could go to the next one, but found that it would not be until the fall! I thought they happened every month! I felt a little bummed that we had missed it, but knew God must have had a reason.
Later, we were told about a Family Fair by our social worker at Family Connections. It would be held on Thursday, June 2nd in the Bay Area. We were very excited! There would be no children at the fair, but social workers from each county would be there with their "child availables." These are children that are in the foster care system that are ready to be adopted. On the way, I said to Scott that we could "find our girl today." I think we were both a little overwhelmed by that idea! But we also knew that it may just be a time to meet social workers from other counties and let them know about our family in case they had a child that was in our age range, which was a 4-8 year old girl. We also had some things that we could deal with, could not deal with, and would discuss that would also need to be true about our girl. Picking the age and the variables seemed so awful to us, but we were reminded that we need to do this because they really want the child to fit into our family in the best way possible. Because we know what we already have going, it's important to say what will work for your family. Could we handle a blind child, or a child with certain backgrounds? These were difficult things to answer, but it helped to know ahead of time and it was placed on our home study.
When we arrived, we went to use the restroom and saw our social worker in the hall. He told us that he had seen a girl that was 5 or 6 year old and was really cute! We immediately felt excited and couldn't wait to get in the room. As we entered, they reminded us that we could not take anything from the room and gave us a name tag. We began at one side of the room and were waiting to speak with a county worker when our social worker came close. He reminded us to be ourselves, but also to really put ourselves out there so the social workers remember us. We asked where the little girl was that he had seen, and he pointed to the table at the end of the square of tables. So, we decided to head over there first and saw a really sweet picture of a little girl in a graduation cap and gown. She had just graduated from kindergarten. On each of the papers about the child, they listed what their background is, what they enjoy, and what their personality is like. The social worker told us all about this little girl, and we listened intently. She was part of a sibling set of three and was the youngest with two older brothers, and they said that they may need to split them up. We didn't really like that idea, and neither of us felt really drawn to her. We decided to go ahead and meet the other county workers and started around the rest of the tables. We were a little sad, but knew we had just started in child search in May and it usually takes awhile. Most of the county workers were kind and said they didn't have anyone right now in our age range, but were happy to take our home study for the future.
At one particular table, the two lady social workers were very kind, but once again said that they too didn't have anyone in our age range. As we were talking to them and telling them a little about our family, I kept noticing Scott looking down at one of the pages on the left hand corner of the table. My eyes kept looking down as well, but knew that this wasn't what we were looking for. The paper said she was 11! We kept trying to look at the social worker, but really felt drawn to this sweet face we were seeing. Finally, I picked up the paper and said, "Tell us about this girl." She began to talk and we kept asking questions and talking for awhile. She got up and came over to us to talk more. I asked if we could show our social worker the sheet, and she said that would be fine. She reminded us that this wasn't our age range. We went and showed our social worker, and as we did he said, she isn't in your age range. I began trying to explain how great it was that she was older and how it would keep Ashley in the "baby" status and might actually work out well in our family, especially if she were a young 11. Alec would still be the second born and Ashley would have a sister! He said that I didn't have to convince him, he just wanted to be sure we knew. He also said that quite often families start with what they think they want, and change it as they go through the process.
He went over to talk with the county worker about her, and we continued through the other tables. I remember feeling very uncomfortable at one particular table. They didn't seem to want to meet us or let us see any of their kids. So, we moved to the last couple of tables and nothing really stood out to us. We went in the back where our social worker was and waited for him to finish talking about the girl we had seen. He came back and re-told us much of what we had already heard and gave us the good and bad of it all. He told us that she was in the perfect spot to be adopted because the parental services had been terminated by the courts, and she was ready to be placed. He told us that she could be really difficult since she's older and has had more baggage to deal with because of her age. But, since he has adopted quite a few children, he said that's not always the case. He has adopted young children with few issues who have been very difficult and has adopted older children with more issues who have been easier. It really just depends on the child.
We decided to head home and talk more about her and see if we wanted to move forward. We wanted to throw out the idea to our kids to see if it fit with their thinking at all and we were still getting used to the new idea. On the way home, we realized that we wanted to start praying for her either way and had to call to ask her name. We had seen quite a few children that day and everything was mixed up in our heads. But her eyes, smile, and face were imprinted in our minds. We thought she was beautiful! We found out her name was Janice and began praying and dreaming. Later that night, we talked to the kids around the dinner table. The kids were dying to know if we had found anyone! As I began to explain, Ashley looked a little upset and confused. But as we explained that Ashley would still be the "baby," and would get an older sister around Alec's age, she began to brighten! We told them that she liked dogs, board games, and basketball! We had all three of those things at our home and enjoyed them as well! The boys seemed excited about the idea. I explained that we were just going to think about it and pray about it for now. Then Ashley burst out with, "I don't want you to think about it, I want you to go get her!" (with her little pointer finger kind of pointed out). She was on board for sure! We called our social worker the next day to say that we wanted to learn more about her. I was feeling like my pregnancy was starting, yet wondering if I might miscarry. Would this end up being "our girl?"
Then we had to wait. Her social worker wasn't in the office on Friday or Monday. The kids and I were headed to meet some good friends from So Cal to go camping near San Luis Obispo. On my way there, I remember talking to some close friends and the FCCA office quite a bit. I began to really like this idea, and told my "mentor" friend all about it over the weekend. She was so excited for me. And ended up, her girl was 11, and she and Ashley played great the whole weekend! When we returned from camping, Scott and I had spent a lot of time praying and thinking about her and felt that if she was a young 11, we would want to know more about her for sure! Ashley was 8 1/2 and I just wanted to be sure they weren't too far apart in age. I remember telling Scott, if she were only 10 that would be so great! Ashley had been praying about this and wanting it so badly that it was a big concern that she find a sister she could do life with in all of this. We felt like we had found a girl . . . maybe?
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