Since I had already worked for FCCA, I knew in advance that there was quite a bit of paperwork that we would need to turn in before we could even start the process of looking for our girl. So I began working on it in late January, knowing that I couldn't turn it all in until I was finished working there in late March. They have a policy that you can't work there and adopt from them at the same time (conflict of interest). We had to get info from the DMV, physicians exams, TB tests, blood tests, copies of lots of items, references, and fill out quite a few papers that they gave to us. We finished most of it by the time I quit working and then began classes.
We did a First Aid/CPR/Water Safety class, and then needed to complete four classes they offer to help you learn about and think through the process of adoption. We went to our first class in March and basically flew through all of them in a couple of weeks so we could get a social worker and get going!
The night of our first class had a few hiccups and felt really strange and hectic. The Thursday before, the engine light on Scott's truck appeared, and he took it in to see what was happening. As it turned out, his transmission needed replaced fully (a cost we hadn't anticipated or hoped for and which far exceeded what we thought it would cost). So, his truck was in the shop all weekend and we were using just the van. On Monday, I went grocery shopping after work and then headed to pick Scott up from work (almost forgetting his truck was still waiting for some parts). We then headed to one of our favorite little Chinese restaurants near our home and while Scott was picking up our order, my van made a very loud pop and then smoke appeared on the passenger side. I turned off the van and walked in to let Scott know, trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. He came out and looked at the engine, but didn't really see anything wrong. So, I started it again, and it did the same thing. He heard it and saw the smoke and thought it didn't look good! We had groceries in the back of the van, dinner in hand, and needed to get to our first class within the hour. Thankfully, a good friend was home close by and came and took us home. We felt it was better to get it towed in and didn't know if it would run or if we would do further harm by trying. We unloaded, got everyone dinner, and asked another friend if we could borrow their vehicle. Thankfully, they didn't need it that night or the next day! We made it just on time!
We both wondered why all of this was happening the weekend of us starting all the classes! Why would both vehicles go south at the same time? How were we going to pay for all of this? Later that night, the van got towed. The next day, the mechanics had the van running and looked over it thoroughly throughout the day. They said it was fine and running well. I got the van back, and there have been no problems since! It seemed to both of us that satan was trying to get us off track, make us doubt, and keep us from starting the process! The classes go in order and there wouldn't be another one until a month later. God has since supplied what we needed to fix the truck, and kept us trusting that He knows what's taking place.
The classes and the paperwork they've given us to read has been invaluable in preparing us. Although I know that we will never be fully prepared, it's great to have some knowledge of what these children have been through, how foster care works, what it's like when they come to your home, and how to parent them in a way that's very different from what we have been accustomed to. It's also helped us prepare our children a little bit. There was one video that was shown with a child talking that was very moving. There was an activity where each of us in the class had names we taped on our shirts and then we had a piece of ribbon that was attached from the child to each of us. They told the story of one child's walk from being taken from their parent's home in a moment, losing all their friends and family, changing social workers, switching foster families and homes, and then arriving at another completely new environment and wondering what to expect now! Each time a person was taken from their life, they would cut the ribbon, and at the end, the child was there with all the ribbons and no attachments. It takes quite awhile to build their trust and show them you really do love them and will keep them permanently. They need a lot of mercy and understanding and help in processing it all. I continue to read and ask other families that have adopted questions in hopes of preparing to the best of my ability and am thankful for those that have gone before!
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