Feeling Misunderstood . . . June 2011

As I was talking to a friend that has adopted, I realized that there have been many times during this process that we have felt misunderstood.  She too has felt that way.  While we have had many excited, caring friends along the way that have blessed us immeasurable, we have also had many respond in ways that we don't understand.  While I know we shouldn't base our lives around what other think, nor take it personally, at times in our flesh that is just hard.  Here are some of the responses we've gotten or felt when we told people (with excitement) that God was leading us to adopt:

Some people look at us as if we're crazy for wanting to adopt.  They think you've got a beautiful family that's working just great, why add to it?

Others say, oh yeah, adopting kids is the new thing that everyone's doing, so you want to join in.  Really, doing it because it's the "in" thing?  While I agree that adoption has been talked about so much more in the past couple of years, and families are finally getting some great information about it and doing it, we aren't just wanting to be "cool."

Others think it's just so not "normal."  They can't imagine why anyone would want to bring a child into their home that's not their biological child, much less a child that's experienced difficulties and been in the foster system.

A few people even think you're doing it for financial gain.  Really???  There are a lot of other ways I can think of to make some extra money.

Some say nothing at all after you tell them.  What does that mean?

Some think you're just a really emotional person that feels bad for kids and are doing it so you don't feel guilty.

Some think you should only adopt a child of your own race, or only a baby, or . . . .

Once in awhile, you think that the people you are around will really get it and care, and they just don't seem to say anything.  And it's hard, because you've cared about their life and their dreams and wonder what's wrong with what you're doing.

And the list goes on.

For us, we are adopting because God called us to it.  He said to take care of the fatherless and the orphan.  As our Reach Pastor put it, "These children are not someone else's problem, they are ours to take care of."  God has called us to love others the way we love ourselves.  He cares for those that have no one else to take care of them, and He becomes a Father to them.  While I know that not everyone is not able or meant to adopt, He made it clear to us and we are so glad He did!  We aren't any better or worse than other families, just following His leading in our lives one day at a time.