The Butler Family

The Butler Family
WE ARE FAMILY!!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Meeting our girl for the first time . . . June 23, 2011

Prayer, prayer, and more prayer - that would be the summary of the days leading up to our meeting.  We were excited, but nervous and feeling like this would most likely be very awkward!  To show up to a home we had never been before and meet a girl that may become our forever daughter just seemed so strange, yet we knew it was what needed to be done to start the process!

Thursday morning, we actually had quite a few things going on.  Weeks ago, we had scheduled to have some work done in our bathroom, and I had scheduled a hair cut and highlights that morning like 6-7 weeks prior (and those appointments are hard to reschedule!).  Since we weren't meeting until that afternoon, everything could still be done.  It was kinda nice to have my hair done that morning to keep my mind active and keep me busy for a while.  I was also very happy that a friend offered to have my kids to her home for lunch and swimming that afternoon!!!  That just made me feel so at ease to know that my kids would be having fun with some good friends!  While they were there, they prayed about our meeting at lunch and then again at 2pm!  It was great to have them be a part of the process, yet busy and not feeling the stress of the day!

While I was getting my hair done, we got a call from our social worker saying that Janice's social worker would like us to bring pictures of our family and home.  This had been discussed previously, but everyone had said they wanted to take it really slow, so I wasn't planning on bringing it to this first meeting.  Thankfully, I had already picked quite a few pictures out and put them in a folder on our computer and had bought a little picture album.  So right before we left, we loaded the pictures to the Costco photo center and picked them up an hour later on the way.  I finished putting the pictures in the album right as we arrived, and we had just the right amount to fill the book - whew!

We drove about an hour and a half from our home to a beautiful home with a great view.  We were surprised by how nice the home was!  It was not really what we had imagined.  On the way, I actually felt quite a bit of peace.  We brought a game and a weaving craft to do while we were there.  We had heard that she enjoyed games and crafts, and I bought this weaving loom while at Walmart thinking it might be fun.  When I got it home, Alec asked me if he could try it.  I said sure, and off he went making two looms (they kinda look like small woven pot holders).  I ended up having to buy another one to be sure we had enough pieces, but was glad that it was an 11 year old "fun thing to do!"

We were told that there were two other foster kids in the home, ages 2 and 5, so we wondered if we might be in a home with the whole family in the same room as we tried to meet our girl.  We wanted to be ready to love on all the kids if that was how it worked out.  We wondered if she would like us and if we would like her.  We wondered what we would talk about for a whole hour (we were told that was about the right amount of time for our first visit).  Then the time came to meet her!

Scott and I prayed as we sat in the van at the end of their driveway.  We walked up to the front door with our social worker, as he had met us there.  Janice's social worker opened the door for us and led us into a play room in the front of the home that had a door that could shut.  We met Janice first thing and felt so much love for her immediately.  The foster mom had another social worker there for one of the other children, so she was busy in another room.  Their dog was there as well, and we met her.  She was a medium size, fluffy white dog and it was good that we enjoyed her since Janice loves dogs.  She and her social worker sat down on the floor, as her social worker was getting ready to curl her hair while we talked (a great idea)!  I sat down on the floor opposite them (which I was later told was a great thing that helped put me on her level and make her feel comfortable) and Scott and our social worker sat in some office chairs nearby.  Her social worker was incredible!  The conversation flowed seamlessly.

We asked her many questions about "her favorites," and learned she likes the color blue, Thai food, and yes, P.F. Chang's!  I remember when Scott asked her if she liked P.F. Chang's and she said yes, he got up from his chair and walked toward the door!  I thought that was all he needed and the meeting was over, but was glad to know he was just going over to look at a picture on the wall.  Her social worker asked questions about Scott and I and our family and we answered.  We asked some questions that we already knew answers to just so that she knew we were aware of some things.  She spoke very easily about being a foster child and seemed comfortable with talking to four adults!  It was amazing!  One exciting fact was that she had been to Royal Family Kids Camp last summer!  We had heard about this camp and knew that it was a Christian camp for foster kids.  We had already been praying for her salvation and were excited to know that she has most likely heard about Jesus at some point.

After we had talked for about 45 minutes and her hair was finished, I brought out the weaving loom and game.  I asked if she would like to try making one, and she said yes.  She picked out three colors - blue, purple, and white and we began making it together.  As we did, our social workers left the room to talk.  It seemed a little strange to be left in the room by ourselves, and yet it felt good to have that time!  She did really well making the loom and seemed very bright.  We finished it together, and enjoyed the process.  When the social workers returned, we were just finishing.  I asked if we could see her room and if she could show us around the house.  I had heard they had quite a few animals.  She looked unsure about us seeing her room, but said ok.  She showed us her room from the door, but didn't take us inside.  She slept on a bottom bunk and had cute little lantern lights above it.  The room was neat, but we didn't go in.  Later, I found out that she had asked her social worker if we would be taking her home to live with us that day.  Her social worker assured her that she would not do that to her, but she may have still feared that and didn't want us to start getting her things?  We weren't really sure.

She led us around the house like a pro!  She was kind and gentle, yet confident.  She was good at explaining things and seemed comfortable showing us everything.  In the kitchen, there was a whole wall that had chicken wire from top to bottom about 5 feet out from the wall with 4 birds (2 canaries and 2 finches) flying behind it.  It was incredible!  Then we headed outside and they had a walk-in caged area with 2 beautiful parrots, so I went in with her to see the parrots.  She also walked us down a beautiful hillside area with stairs to see the chickens, as well as some baby chicks, and the garden they were starting.  There were flowers everywhere, and she said her favorite were the roses.  When we came back in the house, she showed us two guinea pigs in an open pen in the kitchen area.  They had windows surrounding the kitchen with an amazing view of the mountains!  I was so amazed by how nice the home was and how many things there were to help children feel comfortable!

While we were on the tour, I heard someone say something about pictures and knew they were talking about the little album we brought.  Our social worker had previously said that he would know things were going well if we brought that out, but if we didn't feel comfortable that we should hold onto it.  By the time the tour was over, we were definitely ready to bring it out, which for me meant that we wanted to keep moving toward adoption with Janice!  I told her we brought an album to show her about our family and went through each picture and explained them.  She seemed to enjoy it, and especially enjoyed seeing our dachshund dog, Bogey!  I finally checked on the time, and we had been there two hours!  I knew that we should probably head back, and that the social workers probably needed to get going so we decided it was time to go.  I couldn't believe that she had lasted for 2 hours with 4 adults and done it with class!

Her social worker started to ask Janice what she thought, and then decided she would stay a bit after we left and talk with Janice.  We headed out with our social worker and felt a huge weight lift.  We really didn't think it could have gone any better!  We were glad we got to spend so much time with her and hoped she liked us.  Even though we knew we didn't know every side of Janice, it was amazing how she put her best foot forward and was so kind and sweet.  We loved that she looked us in the eye as she talked.  Our social worker said that he saw some fear in her eyes, and also in mine, but that he thought it went very well!  He said that her social worker would probably call tomorrow and let us know what she thought and if things went well, we could meet her as a family the following week.  We were excited for sure and so thankful for all the people that had been praying for this meeting!  We were definitely feeling pregnant at this point, super excited even with all the unknowns!

On our way home, our friends encouraged us to stop and have dinner together and said they could keep the kids.  They even offered to keep them for a sleepover!  We said that would be great and we would bring over some of their stuff after dinner.  We went to Elephant Bar with full excitement and awe!  We began hoping that the social worker would call that evening.  We were thinking about going to see a movie that night, but it didn't work out.  So, we took the kid's stuff to our friends and spent some time talking about the day.  The kids were thrilled to hear it went so well!  It was definitely a great day, better than I ever could have imagined!!!

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