Horse Play Day / Meeting Nana & Pop Pop . . . July 9, 2011

On Saturday, after a few mix-ups in understanding what we were supposed to do, I headed to see Janice at a Horse Play Day where she sometimes takes lessons.  This particular day was for some kids with special needs and parents were aloud to attend.  They did not have enough room for siblings and others, so I went by myself and asked my parents to bring the kids later for lunch.  I was so glad that this worked out as my parents really wanted to meet her, but our social workers encouraged me not to have her to our home while they were here, that it would just be too much for her right now.  When I got there, it was actually a little chilly because it was in the mountains.  I found Janice pretty quickly and she seemed happy I was there.  I was thankful the foster mom had told me about this opportunity!  I love horses and loved being there to see what she has been involved doing.  When we saw each other, she gave me a permission slip for me to sign in case she could come back and ride there in the future.  She said the lady that normally works with her said that I would have to sign it if she came back in the future.  It let me know she knew she would be with us soon!  It was my first form to fill out for her, and it made me happy!

Janice was in a group with about 5 other kids.  Some were older, some younger, and most had some special needs.  There was one older boy, about 15, that was incredible!!!  He was blind and sweet and funny and extremely bright!  I loved hearing him talk about stuff!  I also met a lady who felt like she knew me and looked a little familiar.  Her husband was a worship pastor too so we wondered if we did know each other from somewhere, but our husbands didn't seem to think so.

In our first session, a lady explained about horses and showed us his teeth.  It was hilarious, and reminded me of Mr. Ed!  Then the kids got to take paint and paint on the side of the horse with brushes.  It was so cool!  Janice painted a star, and then a heart and wrote the word "noble" on the horse.  I later learned that this was the horses' name.  We went to another spot and played a bean bag toss.  Whoever got the most bean bags in would get to ride the horse first.  Janice did well, but a little boy got a couple more in than her.  While we were there, the lady I met who's husband was a worship pastor asked about Janice.  I said I was here to be with her today and that we were planning to have her in our family soon.  She was so excited and said, "how wonderful for both of you!"  It seemed like the perfect thing to say!

Then we headed to ride the horse.  They didn't have a saddle or stirrups, just a cotton piece for them to ride on.  We talked as we waited, and a lady that worked with her normally on the horses was there as well.  It was good to meet her as she loved Janice and wanted to know about this family that would be adopting her.  This opened the door even more for me to know that Janice understood that we wanted to adopt her!  When Janice got on the horse, I definitely took on the "proud mom" pose taking pictures and videos and feeling so proud of her!  The workers led her around and had her turn the horse and stop the horse.  When she got off, we had some amazing conversation!  She said she thought it was funny how Ashley had a hard time keeping secrets (like when she told Janice about the ipod before we gave it to her on her birthday, and I think something had slipped out about us getting a new sister).  She said she liked that.  I told her that we had originally thought we would get a younger girl, but when we saw Janice, we knew we wanted her!  I told her how excited we were to find that she was just turning 11 as she would be younger than Alec, and older than Ashley and her and Alec would kinda be like twins.  But she said that he's about 6 months older :).  She really seemed so open to talking about it, and it was fun to hang on the bars of the fence with her and just talk!

Then we went to another area where there were wood horses that you could stand up to color with markers.  She began coloring hers brown with a blue mane and hooves.  When she finished that one, she said that she wanted to make one for Ashley!  I told her Ashley would love that.  She immediately picked out light green and pink (Ash's favorite colors).  It made my heart melt and I told her Ashley would love it!  She wrote Ashley with 3 !!! on the back in cute lettering!

Then it was time for the group picture with all the kids and volunteers.  Her worker took some special pictures of Janice with the horse, and then I asked if she'd take some with my phone.  She was happy to and then proceeded to give me her phone number and email and sent the pics she took to my phone.  She told me that Janice would always be welcome to come back and she would love to still see her.  I told her that I thought I knew of a good program in the Modesto area and that I'd like to see her continue.  She thought that was a great idea and mentioned that she could still come to these play days once in awhile if we could bring her.  I thought that sounded like a great idea!

Janice went to finish the horse for Ashley, and her worker stayed and talked with me.  She said she had adopted too, a baby.  She said that this transition was a big deal and she wanted it to go well.  She said that Janice is "her girl" and she loved her and had been asking Janice all about us.  She also said that today, Janice had told her that "her mom" was coming.  That would be me!!!  I said "wow," and then she said yes, but baby steps.  I agreed and said that it was exciting, but we are taking it slow.  She mentioned that she would see her again on Tuesday for one last time and heard I would be picking her up.  I hadn't heard that but thought it was a great idea!

We left together in the van, and headed to meet the kids and my parents.  We met them in a parking lot I had seen when I went the wrong way on my trip there.  I had told my parents that it might work out for us to eat lunch together, but only if Janice seemed ok with it.  She had asked if everyone would be at lunch earlier that morning, and I told her that Scott was working, but the kids were coming with Nana and Pop Pop and asked if that would be ok to meet them.  She said yes.  When we pulled in the parking lot, she said, "oh, I am so nervous!"  It was so sweet.  I told her that they were really nice and just overly loving and that they wouldn't hurt her :).  Once we got out of the car, my dad was so cute as he came out of the car with camera in hand ready to snap some photos.  After she met them, she seemed fine and said "hi" to the kids.  There was a pizza place close by, so we decided to eat there since I needed to get Janice back soon for an event she was going to that afternoon.  While we waited for the pizza, the kids played some video games together.  Dad pulled out tons of quarters to add to mine!  He was really working hard to talk to Janice.  He asked her about her riding since he was a horse-back policeman in D.C.  He asked her if she thought she could handle Ashley :).  That was kinda funny.  At one point while the kids were playing video games, mom mentioned that they should give her some money.  That's what grandparents do, and they had been handing it out to the kids here and there throughout the week. I said that she was fine and it probably wouldn't be a good idea right now, but it was great that they were taking on the "grandparent" role so quickly with her!

Before we left, we grabbed one more picture with Nana and Pop Pop and the girls.  Then Dad gave her a sweet side hug and said that he couldn't wait to see her again and that he loved her.  It was the sweetest thing ever!  They followed us out and stood and waived as we headed back to her foster home.  Ashley came with us for some girl time.  She was not about to leave Janice yet!

We took her home and were about 15 minutes late, so I had texted the foster mom to let her know.  I felt so bad, but it's so hard when you don't know the area and are trying to find places to eat and plan your time just right.  I was wishing Scott was with me for all of this because he's good at it!  When we walked to the door, her foster mom hurried her in to get showered and said we would talk later.  Janice turned and thanked me for coming.  We went to get in the van.  As we were pulling out, I looked at this piece of wood toward the top of their open garage.  Their house number was painted there, there was a flag on a pole, and there beside it all was painted a dragon fly!!!  I asked Ashley if it looked like a dragon fly or a butterfly, and she said, "mom, it's a dragonfly!"  I jumped out and took a picture!  I couldn't believe God gave me that today.  We had been there quite a few times, and I was kinda looking for dragonflies, thinking maybe her room would be decorated in them or something, and there was one right there!  I quickly sent the picture to Scott and the friend that started the whole thing by giving me some dragonfly stuff on my birthday.  They were both amazed, and she said, "you got your sign!"  I just kept thinking, "Lord, I'm amazed by You!"  This was a bit of strength I so desperately needed!  I think the day was more stressful for me since Scott wasn't with me, I didn't know the area, and I was trying to make everything go so smoothly.

On the way home, I felt nauseous and like I was going to fall over.  I knew I needed to get home quickly and get some rest.  I told Scott how I was doing.  But once we got back in town, I decided to make a few stops on the way home and regained my energy.  Scott was concerned for me driving back and must have been praying.  He knows how emotional it is.  Once we got home, I went and talked with my parents for a bit and then I had some good alone time with the kids.  We later went putt-putting together, and it was such a beautiful evening.

Later that night, Janice's foster mom emailed me and talked about upcoming plans.  She was wanting to make plans for the next week, and talked about the upcoming camp the week after.  It was a tough exchange of emails, and I basically said that we were looking forward to seeing Janice next week and were waiting for Janice's social worker to return to make any future plans.  That was the best I could do at the time and once again I felt wiped.  I wondered if this is how most people feel while they are in the process of doing visits.  Everyone seems to do it a little differently depending on the child's age, but I hadn't imagined this to be so hard.