The Butler Family

The Butler Family
WE ARE FAMILY!!!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Our First Family Night . . . June 27, 2011

I really wasn't sure what we should do for our "first family night" other than possibly go to a park and play basketball since she said that was her favorite sport.  But, of course, Scott had a great idea to take her to P.F. Chang's, which I loved (we could introduce her to our family with class and in our true colors)!  Later, he said that maybe we should just check with her and see what she wanted.  That weekend, I talked with her foster mom who said that she was hoping we would take her to P.F. Chang's and would love to play basketball at a park nearby!  Great minds think alike :)!

On the way, we realized that we had forgotten our basketball!  Since we had planned for traffic, we arrived early enough to go by Big 5 and pick one up.  We arrived at her foster home at 5:30pm as scheduled.  We were amazed that once again, on our third time to this area involving an hour and 1/2 drive, we hit no traffic, and that at rush hour!

We were all a bit nervous, and the kids were excited.  We walked up to her door, and Janice answered.  She too looked nervous and was a little quieter at first, but very sweet.  Considering all that was taking place, she was doing great!  On this visit, we didn't have our social workers with us, and it was her first time meeting our kids.  Plus, she was a little tired from having been at day camp all day.  We introduced everyone and asked if she could show us around her home so the kids could see all the animals.  They loved the parrot cage outside and the birds in the kitchen!  After the tour, we all got in the van together and headed to P.F. Chang's.  It felt so good just having her in our van, and having her walk with us outside.  Although we had made reservations, we had to wait about 10 minutes because we arrived a bit early and really wanted a booth.  It kinda seemed like an eternity.  For some reason, I couldn't think of anything to talk about!  I think I had asked her every question in the book on our last visit.  We had already asked about her day at camp.  Thankfully, she didn't seem to mind.  As we waited, she seemed happy to stand close to me and it didn't seem awkward if our arms touched.  Finally, our table was available and we sat down.

Since she just turned 11 a couple weeks prior, we decided to bring her a couple of presents and celebrate with her.  While we waited for her food, we had her open the presents.  We brought her a couple little orca whales, since she said they were her favorite animals.  One of them was squishy and she seemed to like it the most.  We also brought her a horse poster that you could paint by number.  Her foster mom's oldest daughter is a great artist, and we knew Janice enjoyed crafts as well as horses since she was involved in a horse therapy program.  One of the things we really wanted to take her was an MP3 player with some songs that Scott had recorded, as well as some songs that each of us enjoyed.  We wanted her to hear some of the music we always listen to so that she might know a few of them before we spent lots of time in the van listening to them.  My favorite was "This Little Light of Mine" by Addison Road and the kids picked some TobyMac and other upbeat songs.  We mentioned that we were looking for one on facebook, and a friend said they had an extra ipod shuffle!  So, we took that along with with earphones and gave it to her.  She thanked us and said she had 2 other ones!  I couldn't believe it!  I told her we put some music on there for her and that some of them were Scott singing.  I hoped she would enjoy it even though it was probably pretty different music from what she was used to.  As we continued to wait for the food, I got my iphone out so they could play a little bit to make things easier.

The food finally came and with it a new server who was a nice Asian lady, since the other server was taking a break.  When she brought out our big plates for dinner, she said "big plates for a big family!"  Austin later told me that Janice made a funny face at that remark, possibly feeling kinda strange by it.  But for me, I thought she was prophesying right there in front of us!!  Then we went to pray before the meal, and I could tell she was not sure what to do.  She looked over at us kinda unknowing, but was very sweet and waited for us to finish.  We wondered if she had ever prayed before her meal before?  Scott and I were still on the Daniel Fast, so we had some brown rice and sauteed veggies.  The kids had our normal favorites and Janice enjoyed it!  She ate well, which made me feel good.  The time was getting late, so we didn't order dessert.  All the girls went to the restroom together, and she seemed much more comfortable at this point.

We left the restaurant, and I remember Ashley saying something about getting a new sister, but we just kinda kept moving and hoped she would not continue talking about it.  We headed to a park near her foster home and decided to play "horse" together.  It had taken longer than we thought to eat and as soon as we were finishing the game, it was already about 8pm, which was the time we said we would bring her home.  I said we should probably get back, but Janice thought it might be ok if we stayed a little longer!  So, I called her foster mom to see if that would be ok, and she said it was fine if Janice was up to it and that it was our call.  So, of course, we decided to stay longer!  We went up to the park area, and the kids enjoyed swinging and seeing how far they could jump from the swing (this made me a little nervous as I really didn't want anyone getting hurt on our first visit)!  Then we played tag in the big grassy area nearby (the kids played longer than I did)!  We took some pictures of the kids together on the grass since I really wanted to remember this night!  It had been about 20 minutes, and I thought maybe we should go, but she said she was really having fun and asked if we could stay a little longer . . . so we did!  We were thrilled she wanted to be with us longer!  After about 10 more minutes, we headed back to her home.  On our way home, we talked about our upcoming vacation to Half Moon Bay, and she asked when we were going (as if she might be interested!).  When we got to her home, we walked her to the door.  Scott, myself, and Ashley gave her a hug and the boys said "bye."  She would be going back to day camp the next day, so we hoped she would get a good nights sleep!

On the way home, Scott and I both realized that we already missed her!  The kids all said that she was great and they would like to have her in our family!  I asked if they had any concerns, and they had none.  We arrived home around 10:15pm, and everyone was pretty tired.  I actually felt extremely emotionally wiped, but was excited to see what the next step would be.  We knew that Janice's social worker would talk with her to see how she was doing with us, and then we would set up our next time to meet.  We were really hoping to have her for the upcoming weekend, and really hoped she liked our family!  It was a great "first family night!"  Prayers were being answered!

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