A Weekend Together! . . . July 2 & 3

Throughout the week, we tried to think of fun things we could do and yet so didn't want to overwhelm her all at once.  During our classes, they really encouraged you to keep things low key and let them get to know your family and just hang out around the house.  Since she was 11, it seemed like it would be good to have some fun things to do for all of us to make things more comfortable!  We kinda made out a schedule of what we thought might work, and decided to keep things free as we went.  I emailed her during the week to let her know that we might swim, play basketball, and that we would be going to church so she could plan for clothes.  I told her that I would stay right by her side at church and that we really loved it and hoped she would too.  I also told her we might get a haircut, and some other things.  She emailed back that she was excited and would love to go to church with us!  That was it; that was her email message!  I was amazed . . . of all the things she could have said stuff about, she picked church!

Her social worker was leaving for vacation for 2 weeks, so I felt like I should get a hold of her before she left.  I found out she was going out of the country, so I was really glad we got to talk!  I wanted to see where Janice was in all of this and ask if we should talk about adoption yet or not?  She said to take things slow and see how it went, but that she would talk to her about adoption more when she got back.  She just wanted things to move along naturally.  She said that Janice knew that she was looking for an adoptive family, but that she hadn't directly said we were it.  I also told her about what the rest of our summer looked like with vacation and when school would start, and she said if things went well over our visits that we could possibly have her placed in our home the week that she returned, which would be the week of July 18th!  We talked about having one more long weekend visit July 14th-17th, as well as little visits in between, and she said that sounded good.  Now, we were getting really excited, and nervous about all the change that would be happening!  Nervous for her, nervous for us.

We woke up early, picked her up at 9am and headed home.  The kids played some dsi and iphone games on the way home and just hung out.  We talked about some of our plans for the weekend so she could have a feel for what was ahead.  We knew that she was in a parade on Monday, the 4th of July and would need to wear a red shirt for the Sonrise Equestrian Group.  So, we decided to stop and get shirts for all of us!  We tried Old Navy and they had very little in stock.  Then we headed to Family Christian Stores in Manteca, and they had lots to chose from!  She and I got matching red shirts that said "ReBORN in the USA" and the rest of the family got blue, gray and white shirts.  While she was there, I noticed her looking at a movie about dogs and later went back to get it for the next time she would come.

When we arrived home, we introduced her to our dog, "Bogey," and she loved him!  We showed her around the house and put her stuff in the "girls room."  As we went into the very PINK girls room, I mentioned that Ashley's new favorite color was green and that we could change the room to blue and green if she liked that!  I had just redone the bedding in the room, but at the time was thinking we would be getting a younger child.  But now, I was ready to do it all over again with paint and bed coverings!  The kids showed her some Kinect games on the XBox 360 and they played that for awhile.  They also jumped on the trampoline.  I had bought some Pixos, so we took turns trying to make those.  Then it was time for lunch, and we had grilled chicken for the kids, corn on the cob, and watermelon.  It was our last day on the Daniel Fast, and we really felt God had answered our prayers.  It was so fun sitting around the kitchen table eating together!!!  We had previously decided where our new seat assignments would be once Janice joined our family :).  Scott had to leave soon after lunch for work, so we made plans to be out much of the afternoon.

While we were at our very first visit with Janice and the social workers, she had a picture up on the computer of a haircut she was interested in getting.  When I heard she was coming, I thought that would be such a fun "girl thing" to do together and have a great hair stylist that would do just what we asked.  My social worker informed me that it may not be a good idea as you can't do any major changes as a foster parent without permission.  She really didn't want a major change, so he said to check with her social worker.  I did, and she said that it had just been approved for her to get it cut, and that it would be a great idea!  So, I asked Janice if she wanted to get her hair done and she said yes (it had been quite awhile and I was happy to take her)!  So, we looked online together for a picture and finally found something that looked good.  Ashley and I took her to our stylist and she seemed pretty nervous.  I assured her that this lady does a great job and wouldn't take too much off!  I had called her earlier in the week to make sure she knew what was going on and told her just to have fun with Janice!  She did amazing!!!  She was funny and sweet and made Janice feel less nervous.  The picture we took had a girl with straight hair on it, but after she dried Janice's hair she began putting these beautiful curls in her hair!  I was concerned that Janice may not like it, but the smile when she saw herself proved otherwise!  She felt very pretty, and she was!!!  Scott had me send him a picture when she was done, and he loved it!

We then went by the yogurt store next door and got yogurt together - her favorite was chocolate!  On our way home, I asked if she had ever been to church with her other foster families.  She said that she had with one of them and she thought it was called something Temple.  I mentioned Calvary Temple and she said she thought that was right.  Ashley then proceeded to ask her if they told her how to ask Jesus in their heart because they do at our church.  At first, she said "what?" and then I think she said yes, but we weren't sure of how much she understood.  Loved that Ashley was concerned about her salvation right off!  When we got home, the boys thought Janice looked very pretty and said so - it was sweet!  Ashley had been dying to have Janice play with her in her room, so Janice went with her and they played horses.  Ashley was really enjoying playing pretend, and Janice was kind enough to sit and play with her.  After a little bit, I said that we should head downstairs since I had bought what I thought would be a fun craft to do together.  It turned out to be quite difficult - friendship bracelets.  We tried making them, and Janice's turned out the best, but all of ours were too small.  We may try it again later sometime when we are a little less stressed.  Things were going well, but there was still a bit of a nervous feel with everyone.

Some really great friends had mentioned that we were welcome to come swim at their home if that worked for us.  They have a girl about Janice's age, as well as a younger daughter and older son, so everyone would have a friend.  Plus, I knew things would be very comfortable with them and we would feel at home there.  They also offered for us to have dinner there if she was doing well and everyone was comfortable - that sounded perfect to me!  It would allow me to be more relaxed and spend time with Janice instead of fixing food.  I asked her if she'd like to go swimming and she said yes!  Then she asked me if the curls would come out of her hair if she went underwater.  I sadly said yes, but that I would try to put them back in tomorrow morning.  Everyone got their swimsuits on and off we went.  I remember she hadn't brought flip flops so she had her swimsuit on with ankle socks and tennis shoes.  I asked her if she wanted to borrow some of mine, and she was happy to do so :).

When we got to the house around 3pm, everyone was so kind and relaxed and just treated her like a new friend.  The kids got in the pool and something amazing happened!  I saw all the nervousness disappear!  She had asked me if I was going to swim earlier and I said maybe.  I could tell she wanted me to, so after talking a bit with the family, I got in the pool with everyone along with the other parents!  We played Marco Polo and just had fun doing swimming races, and doing a fun trick where you pull each other through the water.  The kids were having fun on the diving board too!  Once as Janice was getting on the diving board, she slipped off and her knee hit the concrete.  There was quite a big scrape and it started to bleed pretty hard.  She was very brave and strong about it and said she was fine until the blood began to come down her leg.  We all felt awful!  She came over and sat down while all the adults gathered to help her get fixed up.  She started getting a little quiet as it began to hurt worse.  All the kids got out and we decided to play a game of Apples to Apples kid version.  The blood went through a couple of large bandaids, so we changed them.  She was quite a trooper and tried to be ok, and we all felt so sad that it happened!  We had a great time playing the game though, and soon all of us were talking about how hungry we were getting (especially since the cards kept mentioning food).  So they asked if we wanted to stay and have pizza, and we said yes.  They also had some chips and salad and the kids were all happy eating together outside.

Then they all got back in the pool and had a blast again!  Janice hung with the younger girls for quite awhile and played pretend tigers with them - it was so sweet!  She was the mama tiger :).  At one point, she had one of them on each hip!  They had a little ice cream snack on the side of the pool, swam a bit longer, and then we decided to head home.  We knew Scott would be home soon :)!!!

Everyone got in their jammies and wanted to watch a movie - her pick.  She picked "Despicable Me."  That was pretty amazing since the story line of that is about three girls getting adopted!  We made pop corn and enjoyed the movie together.  Then it was time for bed, so we headed up.  We had been memorizing a Proverb with our kids at night, but I thought it would be better to do a small devotion tonight.  I checked in a kids devotional we have to see if there was one on Psalms 91, partly because of how much it meant to me and partly because I thought she might be afraid to be sleeping at a new home.   There was one, so we read a portion of the chapter and talked about how God loves us and wants to hold us, comfort us, and protect us with his feathers and wings.  She seemed to enjoy it and then we prayed together, thanking God that Janice was with us.

Everyone went to bed and Janice picked the top bunk!  I knew she would want to sleep with Bogey, and Alec had told her that Bogey can't get down from there, so that would be good.  It was a great plan!  After everyone was tucked in and I was sure she was doing ok, I decided to stay up awhile to be sure she got to sleep alright.  I finished up some laundry and checked emails and things.  While I was downstairs, I heard the girls talking and a big burst of laughter - it made my heart smile!  I later found out they were telling jokes - how fun!  I probably checked on her like 4 or 5 times and wished I could see her better, but I didn't want to climb the ladder to look :).  So, I finally headed to bed.  I can't say that I slept well, as I kept waking up hoping she was ok.  I decided to get up really early the next morning to get my shower ahead and to be sure I had time to help her get ready and spend some time with her.

The girls got up early and were watching TV, so I just got ready and enjoyed a nice morning talking with God and spending time in His Word.  I so desperately needed it!  I asked Janice if she slept well and she said yes, until Bogey started whining some to get down this morning.  When I went in their room, Bogey was still on the top bunk by himself because he doesn't trust kids to get him off of high places.  I got ready pretty ahead of schedule and told the girls to come on up.  She had a cute little sundress out and I asked her if it needed ironed and she said yes.  So, I ironed it for her and then asked if the girls would like their nails painted.  They both said yes, so we picked our colors and they wanted every other toe and fingernail different colors - it was fun!  I also wanted to check on her knee and get it cleaned up.  I put some peroxide on it and blew, and then added neo-sporin and gave her a new band aid.  Again, she was brave.  She also had some scrapes on her leg from another time earlier that week in a friend's pool, and the foster mom had asked that I keep neo-sporin on that as well.  I was amazed at how I loved taking care of her . . . sometimes when it's other people's kids, I don't do so well with the germ thing and stuff like this, but I had no issues!  She was already becoming our child in my heart!

Then I asked her if she wanted to get her hair curled, and off we went into my bathroom!  Time doing a girls hair is always time well spent!  We talked openly and enjoyed the time!  I knew she had a good friend that she hung out with and asked what his name was.  She said "Gabriel," and I said oh, like the angel that told Mary she would birth Jesus.  She said she thought that was James, and I told her the story.  She asked me if I thought anyone had ever seen Jesus.  I told her how they did when He was on earth, but then he died on the cross for our sins and rose again.  At that point, she said "oh, after He was in the big boulder."  Clearly, she had seen some pictures or heard the story.  I then told her that people saw him for 40 days after that, but then He went to heaven and sent the Holy Spirit to be with us.  I told her that while I can't see Jesus with my eyes, I know He lives!  I could not believe we were having a conversation about the Trinity on our first visit, and so naturally and easily.  We were having a great time and she was totally comfortable!  She asked how long church would be and I told her about an hour and half.  She seemed ok with it.

We did our normal Sunday routine and stopped to get doughnuts on the way to church (yum, Valley doughnuts is the best)!  I was planning to get there a little late so she didn't have to meet people, but somehow we still got their early.  I figured that was good since Scott was opening with a song, and I really wanted her to hear him.  As we arrived, we saw two friends, both of whom have adopted and have been so supportive of us!  Later, as I talked to Sarah Boone, she said that she was so excited and happy, that she almost burst into tears!  It was so cool because I hardly saw anyone else!  It was as if God orchestrated the whole thing.  I had sent out an email asking that people not come up to meet her or say anything about adoption as I knew people would be so excited and may not realize that it would be too much this weekend.  I also mentioned to Mark B. that we would be coming by Club 56 for her to see it, but to try not to notice her too much :).  He was so kind and understanding and prayed with me for our weekend - what a blessing!  Everyone was so thoughtful and some seemed to try to move away when we did try to introduce her.  She actually seemed to enjoy meeting people a little!  At first, she stayed very close to my side, especially as we entered the side door and she saw how big the worship center was!  She was like, "wow!"  But as we walked through the hallway close to Scott's office to go into the main service, Scott's voice came on the speakers in the hall and I said that's Scott.  She started waving her hand for us to hurry and started running toward the door.  Austin and I tried to catch up and I felt so happy!  We sat mid-way back in my normal section, and she loved it!  She was totally into it, singing and clapping, and even "wohood" after one of the songs!  It was absolutely incredible!!  I was a little nervous about communion being offered her first Sunday, and considered taking her out to see Scott's office during it, but as Bobby began to talk about it, I felt a peace.  I explained that this was mainly for the members of the church and told her she could let it pass by.  She seemed fine with that and continued to enjoy the worship!

After the music was over, we went out and saw the worship team in the hall.  She seemed really excited to meet them, and Scott took us to see his office.  He has this huge world map on the wall, and we found Saipan - it was fun!  She says she really likes it here in California better, but we love to see her heritage and care about it.  We then all walked out and saw the Venue and then walked over to Club 56 and sat in the back.  Quite a few of the kids stared back at us, but she seemed comfortable with us!  Mark B. did an amazing job explaining the prodigal son and kept our attention so well!  He made me laugh really hard as well, and Janice did too!  We left a little early and went back to main service to hear Scott end with "The Lord's Prayer."  Then we headed out to get Ashley from class and met a few close friends along the way.  She seemed to really enjoy the whole morning and felt really comfortable!  I was so happy!

We decided we'd hit In-N-Out for lunch, and I wanted her to meet another girl her age whose family are close friends of ours.  I asked her mom if she could join us for lunch, and they loved the idea!  She came with us in the van and we all went to lunch together.  They seemed to hit it off pretty good, and Janice seemed so comfortable!  We saw quite a few friends at In-N-Out from church, and one of them even gave us their table as they were leaving!

We dropped our friend off and met the rest of their family.  He happened to be a nurse practitioner so I had him take a quick look at her knee.  He said it just took a layer of skin off and would be fine.  While we were there, the girls went up to see her room, which happened to be a pretty blue!  Janice loved it!  We saw some horses close by and went to look at them quickly.  Then we headed home.  The kids wanted to get on the trampoline with the sprinkler, but we had to head back.  She had said she wanted to see a couple of movies that were out during our previous family visit, so we had her pick one.  She picked "Kung Fu Panda II," so we headed out to see that on the way home.  This too was a movie all about adoption - incredible!!!  There were parts of it that I felt for her watching, but she loved the movie.  One of the things it emphasizes is that it's not how you start that matters in life, but what you become.

We had eaten lots of popcorn, but still felt like we should feed her some type of dinner before getting her home.  Plus, we weren't ready to drop her off yet!  We went by Old Navy and shopped a little bit first, and ended up getting her a pair of sunglasses that Alec picked out for her.  I was loving it!   We then headed back and stopped at a Burger King (her favorite fast food restaurant) and kinda shared some meals.  At some point during this time, Ashley had said something about having a new sister and Janice was interested and asked her more, but she caught my eye and was quiet.  All the kids wanted to sit by her, and we said she was pretty popular in our family!

We then took her home and said we would be seeing her at the 4th of July parade the next day.  Again, we walked her to the door and gave hugs.  This time, we were all a lot more comfortable!  We headed home, hearts full and emotions in full bloom.  As we left, the pregnancy analogy came back.  I felt like I had a baby, but had to go home without her.  But the good news was that we would be heading back early the next morning!